I wrote that post two and a half years ago. I never did see her again, and it has been a good thing. She had me really controlled during our time together. I got far too dependant on her. When we met in Copenhagen I had to play all sorts of mind games to get anything from her. It was a learning experience anyway because it taught me the usefulness of takeaways and being cold slightly. I’d been reading ASF and pickupguide during the previous few months and I saw how the techniques of not supplicating and being the man were the way to go. I negged her, made her question her worth, did takeaways, and got the lay.
 
If I hadn’t been able to see this time in Copenhagen as a LEARNING EXPERIENCE I doubt it would have been worth it. It amounted to too much hassle and game playing for one weekend. I was able to get some worth out of it by using this time as a chance to try out techniques, see what works and get inside her head and beat her at her own games. I enjoyed the test of wills. And I enjoyed taking my victory prize.

But what a drama-queen this chick could be. It taught me how to deal with these types. I am still learning how to deal with them to this day. Some of plainly not dealing with, but it is worth playing along with them and enjoying the test of wills for a while in order to give yourself some exposure as to how these bitches operate, how they see the world through their twisted chick-logic and how they use Double-Think to make 2 plus 2 equal 5. They really do seem to live in a different reality, so different I think the best way to experience it is to get involved with some of these chicks as a research operation (or take a bunch of magic mushrooms.) Then when you have steeled yourself against some of these cold types and can let their icy water run right off your back, when you come across (!) a real sweetie, you will bask in that pleasure of her company. Putting it succinctly, what I mean is you will meet all sorts of girl in life and the best PUAs will be prepared as to how to deal with all types you meet.

There are different states of mental health. In their book “Life and How To Survive It” (which I highly recommend), Cleese and Skinner describe how the healthiest individuals and societies are those who are in touch with reality the closest. People who are less mentally healthy tend to screen parts of their life off, being the parts they tend not to like to face up to and work on and deal with. But screening them off creates psychological tension and stress. It takes a great amount of energy to keep those unwanted areas hidden away. This can lead to long term unhappiness. Some people don’t even know they are screening parts of their life off. In regard to learning PU, this implies that you need to take stock of which areas of your skill set are missing or not up to scratch. Then you have to decide what is necessary to gain those missing skills. Then you pay that price, whatever it is.

Now back to my original “Mindgames in Copenhagen” post.

This meeting was a watershed. It was the last time I saw my MLTR and for a while I missed her. But it really was hammered home that if I was prepared to DO THE WORK in the area of PU then it would pay off. It was my new attitude, not supplicating to her, and the negging and takeaway techniques that won this for me. Now I don’t care if she sees me again. She was a spoilt girl who didn’t deserve someone like me and she was someone who broke her promises about all the important things we had planned together. I can trust someone like that.

Next.

In my Harem Management post recently on mASF I described how FB Athletic might be leaving the harem and how it is important to be actively recruiting new members. I see Athletic is looking for drama now. She is trying to get me to supplicate. But it is too late for you Athletic. I have seen the light and you cannot turn me away from the Force to the Dark Side of the AFCer. She tried this a few months ago but gave up when I went off to Australia and didn’t feed her ego. Same applies here, I have nothing to gain from playing her games. I have fucked her, have got inside her head, have seen how messed up she is. The game is over. And if she wants to keep playing, she’ll do it on my terms, or not at all.

This was one of my earliest and most serious posts to the community. I was struggling to come to terms with the breakdown of my relationship with my Swedish girlfriend. I had so many unanswered questions about the relationship. It taught me a hell of a lot. Some of the problems I solved on my own (I got the lay ultimately) and today I am in a position to answer these questions and handle these challenges successfully if they ever came my way again. That is what the game is all about for me.

This last weekend I met my ex girlfriend in Copenhagen. She came down from Sweden to spend the weekend with me. While we were arranging it she said on the phone things like ..."it is no so expensive to stay over..." and we agreed to stay the Friday and Saturday nights.

I arrived in Copenhagen looking forward to some action between the sheets based on this premise. In the event I did get some action but the MIND GAMES I had to put up with to get some !!! We shared a room . The first night she was "so tired from the journey" and had a "headache" that she wanted just to sleep. So we slept together and just hugged. In the morning I tried for something more from her but she was not into it.

She said she didn't think about me like that anymore (however earlier I saw in her travel bag that she had BROUGHT CONDOMS). What the hell's going on here I thought to myself... the confusion of her coming down to see me with condoms and agreeing to stay overnight... then saying she didn't want to do anything with me and didn't find me attractive sexually. She said she thought of me more like her brother and a part of the family. She didn't want to tongue me bacause "you don't tongue your brother". ...so it was just the light kissing on the lips to start with and hugging.

I was pissed off and confused. I told her so and also that if that was the way she wanted it I had to respect her choice. I said to her I would not be a sexual beggar, that she had to want to do it. So then we walked around town and I was distant with her. A take away of sorts. I answered her questions and spoke to her, but not at length, and stopped taking her hand or kissing her.

She kept taking my arm a la French style and holding my hand. I even negged her outside a clothes shop . She came out with a pair of trousers in her bag.

 She showed me them and I said :  " so you tried them on ?  you managed to get into them then? she looked mildly annoyed ...yes", she said.

  "what size are they ?." I asked .
she looked annoyed still .....my size .. she said ..
   " it's just that i want to know because i might buy you some trousers
as a present sometime" ... I said.

So we walked around and then she started crying a bit. She wanted to know why I was being cold .... we sat down and I said I was upset that she didn't find me attractive anymore ...that it was a blow to my confidence. She started to retract .. to say she didn't mean it like that ...that she thought I was cute and a great guy. She said she thought I was being distant because she wouldn't have sex with me ... I said no ...it was just that i was upset about her not finding me attractive. We hugged and she said she never meant to hurt me.

We went back to the hotel and started reading . I finished my book first and she said " I'll be ready in just a minute " . Then she started to get undressed and we got into the bed and fucked. I even told her to go get a condom.... she went to her bag and took one out ... what the hell is going on here ??? Was she playing hard to get ?? i.e trying to keep up the image that she did not come for a weekend fuck. I had to really play mind games with her to get something. Did she plan it this way ? Hide and seek in Copenhagen with Stevie ???

Within the space of 2 hours she had gone from saying kissing me was like kissing a member of her family, to fucking passionately. By the way , the next morning we woke up and she started tonguing me down in the bed and we fucked again ....I didn't have to say a word. What is going on ??? Most of the weekend we were touching, kissing , hugging. She said she loves me but then went back to her life in Sweden saying she'll probably see me in the spring.

My big question to myself is did she really want to fuck with me and was playing hard to get, acting a role where she planned to give in. Or was she really adamant about not fucking and only did it because of the mind games we had to play ?? I favour the former. Why all these fucking mind games ? Why must we contend with this bullshit ? Why the chick logic. ??? I know the reasons mostly but still find myself thinking how bizarre it all can be.

Bewildering at times aren't they?

The method of leading someone into a train of thought by stating your thoughts on something and thereby giving them the opportunity to respond with their own opinion on the subject is a useful method of conveying personality and showing you have attractive qualities.

If you go in asking questions too early it can cause her to wonder why you want to know these things, especially if she doesn't know you very well. It can trigger an element of suspicion sometimes.

However, if you are stating your opinion and giving her the chance to reply, it is showing her that you HAVE an opinion which you are not afraid to voice, and also that you are confident to state your opinion without having to know whether she agrees with it. Just don't make it SUCH a serious opinion that you and her could get into a big conflict over it. Don't early on give an opinion on something that could potentially conflict with her morals of values, for example.

If you give an opinion (as the suggestion in the "How to really EV thread currently on mASF advanced - concerning favourite movie actor qualities elicitation) then it doesn't matter if you disagree about who is the sexiest etc. It doesn't really matter who is right or wrong, and you STILL have her thinking about the theme of sexy guys. Plus, she is likely to be impressed on some level that you have an opinion and are not wishy-washy.

I remember my friend "Natural" Mike (the best PUA I have spent any amount of time with IMO) opening in a bar by talking about Madonna being crap. Some of the group he opened agreed with him, and some didn't. That, by the way, can be a good way to get a group really involved with you - to go in with a topic that is likely to provoke a little conversation and debate within the group on the opinion you have given. Make sure it is not a really serious opinion that is going to upset people, and you can do well because you can have group members split on their opinions, with you as the instigator or controller of the debate, as you were the one who brought it up. You can set yourself up in a "talk show host" role where you control the debate and bring in other members of the target group and ask them their opinion on the issue. You can neg and ball-bust the ones who have a different opinion to you. That “talk show host” mentality is something that has helped my game a lot over the last year because it encourages you to chat with people a lot, to entertain them, and you automatically are the star of the show because you are the host.

It can also show quickly who is going to take your side in any future suggestions you might make to the group, such as a venue change to a different bar up the street. Make your suggestion to the people who backed your view in the original opener, and use those people to influence the whole group.

Think of what a talk show host is like. What qualities do they have? They are confident, not needy, positive, humorous, charming, talkative, outgoing, charismatic, and THEY are the real stars of the show. Long after many stars of the 1960s and 70s had faded away, Johnny Carson was STILL going strong throughout the 1980s. What did he have that kept him in the limelight? And what would it be like if you could entertain, engage people, and build rapport like a terrific host can?

I just got back from making HB Y cry. I feel like a bastard for having to do it, but I know deep down it was what was necessary and what was needed. She showed me non-verbally it was what she wanted. Let me explain.

The past few days I sensed she was not 100% paying me the attention I require. She was not really listening when I spoke to her. In the past I would have got all weak and asked her "what's wrong". But that hardly ever works and by naming it as something wrong it creates that reality in her mind. Just like Major Mark says -"naming something makes it real. describing it brings it to life". Well fuck naming the problem and having her describe it to me and thereby bring it to life. No way. There is a better way and this is what I had to go for.

I left her place and cut off contact with her for two days. I ignored her calls, ignored her text messages, and ignored her emails. She got increasingly worried and later told me she wondered if I'd been in an accident. Then after a lot of ignoring her I finally answered her call this evening and turned the tables. I told her it seemed that she wanted to have some space and I wanted to give that to her because I wanted her to be happy.

She denied wanting space and I said perhaps I'd imagined it but she seemed not happy with me recently and I didn't want to be the cause of that unhappiness and if I am the cause of it then it is better if we are not together, because all I want is for her to be happy. She started crying and asking what I was talking about. The plan was working and later, after we met, she almost thanked me for forcing this issue.

She was all tears on the phone because I had pulled a mind fuck. I showed a willingness to walk away, thus increasing my value. I knew it would work because she had been calling me so much and wanting to find out if I was ok. And by making it all apparently about making HER happy, she didn't know how to mentally-process the mind fuck. I said maybe I was imagining it all and she asked if we could meet. I met her near the train station 45 minutes later.

She was sitting there with tears in her eyes. I made sure not to talk too much. I wanted to gather information on her state and wanted her to be unsure of what I was feeling. I made sure not to show if I was happy or unhappy to see her. I was very emotionless outwardly. I said hi, sat next to her and resisted the urge to hold her or comfort her. I took her hand and led her away to a quieter location where she could cry without people seeing her because I knew she would cry more when I put her through a rollercoaster of emotions of loss and regaining happiness.

I played with her head a bit more and told her it was all her fault for not sharing her fears and worries with me and I can't help her if she doesn't share them. Everyone has worries and therefore she went inside and found the feelings to attach to that word. She agreed she had not shared all her worries and I told her I can only help her and we can only be together in a proper relationship if she opens up more and shared her feelings with me, otherwise she will be unhappy and I don't want to have that kind of person in my life. She held me and promised to be more open and her sobs turned to tears of joy as we shared a special moment and a new beginning to the relationship.

I engineered the whole thing, but it was good for her and she feels closer to me now. She also has learned I will walk away from her and that increased my value. It increases my influence over her as well. I had to be cruelto be kind and it felt good.

I was out with Deborah last night. It was a fun night. When I met her she was waiting for me in a bar. There were a bunch of AMOGs to content with who were trying to hit on her. I joined in and won them over through story telling about the Scottish guy in Madrid (one of the AMOGs was wearing a kilt). I showed them I was not going to stand by and let them sarge Deborah, so I won them over a little, built rapport, and then when I was in control of the situation I turned off the rapport and shut them out. They left after that.

Kissed with Deborah and kinoed all night.

I do enjoy being with a nice girl. She took me to a bar that I didn't know about (close to the Tonguedown Bar) and it was FULL of HBs. There were more HBs in that place than men. I will return there without Deborah some time soon.

I was C&F most of the night but at times I was slipping into the male friend role. I knew it was happening, and made sure to not be a shoulder for her to cry onto. I kept the humour and underlying themes of sex and excitement going. She responds well to visualising and role playing. I need to do more of that in the future and steer away from too serious discussions.

When she meets me I think she wants to look back on it and see it as a fun time.

I was out with Deborah last night. It was a fun night. When I met her she was waiting for me in a bar. There were a bunch of AMOGs to content with who were trying to hit on her. I joined in and won them over through story telling about the Scottish guy in Madrid (one of the AMOGs was wearing a kilt). I showed them I was not going to stand by and let them sarge Deborah, so I won them over a little, built rapport, and then when I was in control of the situation I turned off the rapport and shut them out. They left after that.

Kissed with Deborah and kinoed all night.

I do enjoy being with a nice girl. She took me to a bar that I didn't know about (close to the Tonguedown Bar) and it was FULL of HBs. There were more HBs in that place than men. I will return there without Deborah some time soon.

I was C&F most of the night but at times I was slipping into the male friend role. I knew it was happening, and made sure to not be a shoulder for her to cry onto. I kept the humour and underlying themes of sex and excitement going. She responds well to visualising and role playing. I need to do more of that in the future and steer away from too serious discussions.

When she meets me I think she wants to look back on it and see it as a fun time.

I met up with Abi yesterday. She is the chick from the theatre last week who gave me her number. It was an ace meeting in terms of using my skills. She is smart and fun to be with. She also believes in magick and mind reading.

I took her to the Tonguedown Bar and she was all over me. There are photos of her in the photos section of my site.

I plan to write a detailed report of what I did to get her on her back in a public bar with her legs wrapped around my waist kissing and grinding herself against me.

I am going over to FB Chinese's place later on for some action.

I contacted Athletic last night. She is into my mind-reading and I have a new effect to show her where I seal a prediction in an envelope, have her think of any number between 1-100. She names the number, then we open the envelope and find the number she named has been already predicted by me.

She said she will come over soon to see it. We both know that the illusion is just an excuse to meet up, but it makes the foreplay fun. I think I'll tell her as I bang her "Watch as I make my dick disappear .... now you see it, now you don't"

I predict she will have fun.

I went over to FB Chinese's place last night and nailed her. She is in love. She makes references to marriage and I ignore them. She knows I am not getting married to anyone in the next few decades. Well maybe in 5-10 years, maybe never.

She told me about how she and her HB 9 friend talk about controlling guys and getting them to buy things for them. This chick is totally materialistic. She's supposed to come from a communist country, but I have never seen greed and materialism like this. Happiness to her is a sportscar, a rich husband and a massively successful business with her as the owner. The weird thing is she is ALREADY rich. She has servants in China who do everything for her. And yet she wants more. It is never enough is it? Once you have more, you need even more to be happy.

It is the "trap of MORE - BETTER" as Major Mark talks about. And she is in the trap all the way. The trouble with this is you never get there. To be happy you need more than you already have.

Anyway, I banged her, or should I say she banged me, as I was tired. She sucked me for a while too but she's not very accomplished. She would make a good rodeo rider though.

She dropped me off and I went to work.

Returned home and Coolwater phoned me from Perth. We had a good chat about his recent peacocking. I couldn't resist putting a time constaint on our conversation and patterning him a little. I laughed too much when I did it though ... he knew what I was doing. Still, good fun.

Free for the weekend. Yahoo!!!!!!!!

Went out lone wolf. Or that was the idea at least. I bumped into Deaf Paul and that was the night fucked. He is a burden because he can't talk to me, chicks, or anyone. He's a nice guy but being with him makes sarging a real hassle.

I did open some chicks with the camera routine and got talking with them, used C&F about her photo techniques ... but Paul cockblocked unintentially. Damn.

It was a pretty uneventful night. There WAS one hot chick I talked with who I negged and used C&F about her being a stalker and looking like a security guard (she was wearing a hot black uniform)... but guess who was there to get in the way and stop the flow of things? Yes. DP.

I get lazy at times ... I think having someone to push me would be a help ... I rest on my laurels because I have a selection of chicks already phoning me/fucking me/interested. And when I do make the smallest of efforts to open it nearly always pays off.

I think one way round this is to take the recorder out with me more often, this helps motivate me as I know lots of guys will potentially hear it.

I am meeting Abi tomorrow. She is definitely interested.