I am writing this as much for my own notes as anything else, but I’ll post it anyway because it might help to get other people thinking and might give people some insights into what I should be doing better. I have a good idea what I need to have done better, but any suggestions are very welcome. It is about testing a 90% rapport based game.
The reason I am writing this also is because it is a good example of me getting back into a more rapport centred game as opposed to a cocky game. I ran almost no cocky stuff except during an AMOG intrusion. I found the rapport stuff combined with non-neediness worked well for me with these Swedish chicks. My big fuck up was not venue changing.
I was out cruising lone wolf here in Spain and I hit one of my favourite bars, an Irish pub. I heard a 2 set speaking Swedish and I knew they were good prospects. One was a HB 8.5, tall and blonde. The other was a 7, not bad but it was the 8.5 who got my attention. This was a perfect scenario for me, as I speak Swedish and love Scandinavian looks.
I sat down next to them and ordered a drink. To my right was the 7, and to her right was the 8.5 sitting around the bar. A Chinese woman came in selling trinkets and that allowed me a natural opener. I said in Swedish “Aren’t you going to buy something from her? I know it’s not the best quality stuff, but the Chinese don’t make a lot of money here in Spain”. The woman moved off and the chicks were now engaged with me.
The reason they were engaged was I spoke Swedish to them and clearly was not a native speaker. They had to find out where I was from, they are so curious. In the past I might have run some cocky game of making them guess and busting on them for not being very good on geography. I can do all that fine, but I wanted to field test a rapport game so I got into a discussion of where I am from and about living in Spain. We talked about shared experiences of being in Spain, they asked about my book I had with me (The Language Instinct) and we joked a little about something one of the chicks misread. It was very rapport based game.
I noticed the 8.5 (Monica) was much more into me than the 7 (Karin). Monica seemed a lot easier to talk with and seemed the more suggestible. Karin was not unfriendly, just not quite as forthcoming as Monica and I could see Karin was not quite as comfortable in speaking. When Monica went to the toilet I took my chance to win over Karin more fully. I talked about whether it is better to be rich or famous. I asked her if she had a choice of being only rich OR famous, which would she choose. She chose to be rich. I agreed with her because you can switch off being rich but you can’t switch off being famous.
When Monica came back from the toilets I brought her into the discussion and got her opinion. I joke a little saying I’d be signing autographs later, that they’d have to wait. They laughed at that and I said I couldn’t believe they didn’t recognise me. Then I went into saying who we look like. I suggested Monica looks like a 60s pop star and Karin looks like Alanis Morrisette. I was hoping they’d suggest I look like DiCaprio, but they didn’t. 
When Karin was at the toilet I worked on Monica to bring in sexual themes. I told her about a guy on the street earlier who tried to pick me up (true!). And when Karin returned I told her about him too. I told a story about confusing the word for short and the word for horny in Swedish. I told them about how I told kids in an American school to take out their rubbers (erasers). So I had both chicks into me, seeing I was interesting to talk with, feeling comfortable and introducing sexual themes lightly. Remember, none of this was fluff in the sense of “so where do you live”. This was deeper stuff, interesting observations about life. Monica, especially kept reinitiating the conversation.
I was getting attention from other people around me and they were seeing how well I was doing. One chick butted in and tried to open all of us about having lost the guy she was with, and the bar man started trying to cut in too. I had a trump card though, because I could take the chicks back to Swedish and the others couldn’t join in. Still though, it was annoying to have all these butters in.
I went into mind-reading to amp up the intrigue and connection. This worked INCREDIBLY. I told Monica that the eyes are the windows of the soul and she was to think of a word and send it to me. Karin knew the word too. I told them how when you are with someone who you can really feel in synch with you can know what they are going to say before they say it. I looked at Monica deep in the eyes and read her mind. I told her the word she was thinking of and she freaked out. She said I couldn’t possibly have known the word. (By the way, the word, if you want to know, was birthday).
Their intrigue level was at a massive peak. They wanted to know how I did it. I told them I can sometimes tell what people are thinking without them saying it. I gave another demonstration using Derren Brown style reading of body language to tell which of two choices they were thinking of – I said I can tell if they prefer Italian or Chinese food. Again I read 100% correctly and said they both preferred Italian, but that Monica had been indecisive and had only made her mind up just before she’d told me. She freaked out again and said I was right. Karin was starting to warm up too and wanted to see more. Next I had them think of a number between 50 and 100. I got the number right but the digits were reversed. I told Karin she was sending me a mirror image. I told them a story about seeing a ghost in my bedroom. Monica was eating it up especially.
Remember the way to do magic/mind reading effectively is not to use it to build value. Use your personality to show initial value and then use mind reading as an extra. If you use mind reading as the whole show, you risk being seen just as an entertainer.
By this time I had them very into me. A group of AMOGs appeared over my shoulder and opened the chicks. The chicks were responding to the AMOGs and I thought “shit I have to shut these guys down.” I told the AMOG he was super cool and he was the man and he knows all the words in Swedish. He knew what I was doing (trying to shut him down) and tried to shut me down in return. There was a brief exchange of about 30 seconds where he’d try to shut me down in return, then he said he was not trying to move in on my chicks. I said they aren’t my chicks and I don’t even like them. I don’t think the chicks heard that, but anyway he left and I could work on them again more.
They asked how I could tell so much about them (referring to the mind reading). I told them I am interested in how people communicate with others and how the transmit meaning to others non-verbally. I patterned them lightly on seeing qualities of a good communicator. I patterned them on how they can lose themselves in an experience like a book or a film. I discussed Keats and Byron with Monica. We talked about being language nerds together and I got them high fiving about us all being language nerds. They laughed and liked that. I playfully punched Karin on the arm and told her to “watch it kiddo.”
Karin asked about clubs to go to in the area. I told her I know where one place is. This is where I fucked up. I didn’t venue change them. This was the perfect time to suggest showing them where the club was. This is my major learning for tonight. I need to get venue changing totally ingrained into my game every time I am getting good IOIs with chicks. I sometimes go for the venue change and I have no excuses for not doing this here, it was a perfect time to suggest moving on. It was lack of practice at venue changing. I think I need to work on this a bit consciously because where I grew up a lot of the sarging was one night stand material where you got from bar or club to the taxi and home, without using venue changing much. I should have gone for the venue change and if it didn’t come off I could still have gone for a meeting follow up.
I set up a meeting for the next way, leaving them with the suggestion that they might get to see or learn some mind reading. I dangled this in front of them to reduce chances of flaking. They agreed it meet up the next day to have lunch together. They kissed me on the cheek Spanish style without me going for it. I left knowing I’d failed to venue change. It is not so bad when one fucks up and don’t know why, but it is worse when you know what you should do and didn’t do it. Then there is no excuse except lack of practice. Even if I didn’t get the venue change it is likely I’d still have got the follow up meeting, so I have nothing to lose by going for the venue change. In fact it might have been better to use the foot in the door principle and got them to agree to the follow up meeting first and then gone for the bigger request of venue change. This is covered in Cialdini’s book “Influence”. Has anyone experimented with this form of closing? i.e. small request and then bigger one after the smaller one has been accepted.
It’s weird but my middle game is really solid. My opening is good with neutral entertaining openers and physically closing for kisses is pretty straightforward for me, I am used to it. What I need to work on is closing verbally for venue changes suggesting getting together intimately. Where I grew up it was a lot of cavemanning. If I’d been in an isolated postion with either of them (i.e. if I’d venue changed and isolated) the physical part would have come naturally to me, it always does.
So I will meet them tomorrow afternoon and see what happens. Shit, this is supposed to be fast seduction. It could happen tomorrow of course but still, I had a terrific chance here tonight and didn’t push it as far as I could. I love the field, you learn so much all the time if you try to analyse what happened afterwards. My rapport game was really effective tonight, and showing value to the chicks came from my speaking their language really well and that being unusual for an English guy. I’ll continue with the rapport game experiments and will post about tomorrow’s meeting once (if) it comes off.
Next Day
I went to the meeting place and they never showed. I am unsure whether we mixed the time up. I think I said “half one”. In Swedish half one means half before one (12.30) but in English it means 1.30. Either way, I went and waited 15 minutes and there was no sign of them. Shit. This goes to show how important it is to do as much as possible on the night without seeming needy or desperate. They are leaving my city tomorrow and I won’t see them. Shit times ten. This was only one set but the signs were all there that something could have been on if I’d been able (gone for) isolation. Live and learn and stop being a fucking pussy about venue changing. I do it sometimes but not others and I need to do it all the time, make it consistent.
The reason I am writing this also is because it is a good example of me getting back into a more rapport centred game as opposed to a cocky game. I ran almost no cocky stuff except during an AMOG intrusion. I found the rapport stuff combined with non-neediness worked well for me with these Swedish chicks. My big fuck up was not venue changing.
I was out cruising lone wolf here in Spain and I hit one of my favourite bars, an Irish pub. I heard a 2 set speaking Swedish and I knew they were good prospects. One was a HB 8.5, tall and blonde. The other was a 7, not bad but it was the 8.5 who got my attention. This was a perfect scenario for me, as I speak Swedish and love Scandinavian looks.
I sat down next to them and ordered a drink. To my right was the 7, and to her right was the 8.5 sitting around the bar. A Chinese woman came in selling trinkets and that allowed me a natural opener. I said in Swedish “Aren’t you going to buy something from her? I know it’s not the best quality stuff, but the Chinese don’t make a lot of money here in Spain”. The woman moved off and the chicks were now engaged with me.
The reason they were engaged was I spoke Swedish to them and clearly was not a native speaker. They had to find out where I was from, they are so curious. In the past I might have run some cocky game of making them guess and busting on them for not being very good on geography. I can do all that fine, but I wanted to field test a rapport game so I got into a discussion of where I am from and about living in Spain. We talked about shared experiences of being in Spain, they asked about my book I had with me (The Language Instinct) and we joked a little about something one of the chicks misread. It was very rapport based game.
I noticed the 8.5 (Monica) was much more into me than the 7 (Karin). Monica seemed a lot easier to talk with and seemed the more suggestible. Karin was not unfriendly, just not quite as forthcoming as Monica and I could see Karin was not quite as comfortable in speaking. When Monica went to the toilet I took my chance to win over Karin more fully. I talked about whether it is better to be rich or famous. I asked her if she had a choice of being only rich OR famous, which would she choose. She chose to be rich. I agreed with her because you can switch off being rich but you can’t switch off being famous.
When Monica came back from the toilets I brought her into the discussion and got her opinion. I joke a little saying I’d be signing autographs later, that they’d have to wait. They laughed at that and I said I couldn’t believe they didn’t recognise me. Then I went into saying who we look like. I suggested Monica looks like a 60s pop star and Karin looks like Alanis Morrisette. I was hoping they’d suggest I look like DiCaprio, but they didn’t. 
When Karin was at the toilet I worked on Monica to bring in sexual themes. I told her about a guy on the street earlier who tried to pick me up (true!). And when Karin returned I told her about him too. I told a story about confusing the word for short and the word for horny in Swedish. I told them about how I told kids in an American school to take out their rubbers (erasers). So I had both chicks into me, seeing I was interesting to talk with, feeling comfortable and introducing sexual themes lightly. Remember, none of this was fluff in the sense of “so where do you live”. This was deeper stuff, interesting observations about life. Monica, especially kept reinitiating the conversation.
I was getting attention from other people around me and they were seeing how well I was doing. One chick butted in and tried to open all of us about having lost the guy she was with, and the bar man started trying to cut in too. I had a trump card though, because I could take the chicks back to Swedish and the others couldn’t join in. Still though, it was annoying to have all these butters in.
I went into mind-reading to amp up the intrigue and connection. This worked INCREDIBLY. I told Monica that the eyes are the windows of the soul and she was to think of a word and send it to me. Karin knew the word too. I told them how when you are with someone who you can really feel in synch with you can know what they are going to say before they say it. I looked at Monica deep in the eyes and read her mind. I told her the word she was thinking of and she freaked out. She said I couldn’t possibly have known the word. (By the way, the word, if you want to know, was birthday).
Their intrigue level was at a massive peak. They wanted to know how I did it. I told them I can sometimes tell what people are thinking without them saying it. I gave another demonstration using Derren Brown style reading of body language to tell which of two choices they were thinking of – I said I can tell if they prefer Italian or Chinese food. Again I read 100% correctly and said they both preferred Italian, but that Monica had been indecisive and had only made her mind up just before she’d told me. She freaked out again and said I was right. Karin was starting to warm up too and wanted to see more. Next I had them think of a number between 50 and 100. I got the number right but the digits were reversed. I told Karin she was sending me a mirror image. I told them a story about seeing a ghost in my bedroom. Monica was eating it up especially.
Remember the way to do magic/mind reading effectively is not to use it to build value. Use your personality to show initial value and then use mind reading as an extra. If you use mind reading as the whole show, you risk being seen just as an entertainer.
By this time I had them very into me. A group of AMOGs appeared over my shoulder and opened the chicks. The chicks were responding to the AMOGs and I thought “shit I have to shut these guys down.” I told the AMOG he was super cool and he was the man and he knows all the words in Swedish. He knew what I was doing (trying to shut him down) and tried to shut me down in return. There was a brief exchange of about 30 seconds where he’d try to shut me down in return, then he said he was not trying to move in on my chicks. I said they aren’t my chicks and I don’t even like them. I don’t think the chicks heard that, but anyway he left and I could work on them again more.
They asked how I could tell so much about them (referring to the mind reading). I told them I am interested in how people communicate with others and how the transmit meaning to others non-verbally. I patterned them lightly on seeing qualities of a good communicator. I patterned them on how they can lose themselves in an experience like a book or a film. I discussed Keats and Byron with Monica. We talked about being language nerds together and I got them high fiving about us all being language nerds. They laughed and liked that. I playfully punched Karin on the arm and told her to “watch it kiddo.”
Karin asked about clubs to go to in the area. I told her I know where one place is. This is where I fucked up. I didn’t venue change them. This was the perfect time to suggest showing them where the club was. This is my major learning for tonight. I need to get venue changing totally ingrained into my game every time I am getting good IOIs with chicks. I sometimes go for the venue change and I have no excuses for not doing this here, it was a perfect time to suggest moving on. It was lack of practice at venue changing. I think I need to work on this a bit consciously because where I grew up a lot of the sarging was one night stand material where you got from bar or club to the taxi and home, without using venue changing much. I should have gone for the venue change and if it didn’t come off I could still have gone for a meeting follow up.
I set up a meeting for the next way, leaving them with the suggestion that they might get to see or learn some mind reading. I dangled this in front of them to reduce chances of flaking. They agreed it meet up the next day to have lunch together. They kissed me on the cheek Spanish style without me going for it. I left knowing I’d failed to venue change. It is not so bad when one fucks up and don’t know why, but it is worse when you know what you should do and didn’t do it. Then there is no excuse except lack of practice. Even if I didn’t get the venue change it is likely I’d still have got the follow up meeting, so I have nothing to lose by going for the venue change. In fact it might have been better to use the foot in the door principle and got them to agree to the follow up meeting first and then gone for the bigger request of venue change. This is covered in Cialdini’s book “Influence”. Has anyone experimented with this form of closing? i.e. small request and then bigger one after the smaller one has been accepted.
It’s weird but my middle game is really solid. My opening is good with neutral entertaining openers and physically closing for kisses is pretty straightforward for me, I am used to it. What I need to work on is closing verbally for venue changes suggesting getting together intimately. Where I grew up it was a lot of cavemanning. If I’d been in an isolated postion with either of them (i.e. if I’d venue changed and isolated) the physical part would have come naturally to me, it always does.
So I will meet them tomorrow afternoon and see what happens. Shit, this is supposed to be fast seduction. It could happen tomorrow of course but still, I had a terrific chance here tonight and didn’t push it as far as I could. I love the field, you learn so much all the time if you try to analyse what happened afterwards. My rapport game was really effective tonight, and showing value to the chicks came from my speaking their language really well and that being unusual for an English guy. I’ll continue with the rapport game experiments and will post about tomorrow’s meeting once (if) it comes off.
Next Day
I went to the meeting place and they never showed. I am unsure whether we mixed the time up. I think I said “half one”. In Swedish half one means half before one (12.30) but in English it means 1.30. Either way, I went and waited 15 minutes and there was no sign of them. Shit. This goes to show how important it is to do as much as possible on the night without seeming needy or desperate. They are leaving my city tomorrow and I won’t see them. Shit times ten. This was only one set but the signs were all there that something could have been on if I’d been able (gone for) isolation. Live and learn and stop being a fucking pussy about venue changing. I do it sometimes but not others and I need to do it all the time, make it consistent.
RSS Feed