I just bought a cross trainer/exercise bike. Now there's no excuse for not staying in shape during the winter "because it's too cold". It's a Reebok Edge cross trainer/exercise bike combo.

For the past 4 weeks I travelled Eastern Europe by train and got into far better shape. Carrying 10kg on your back for a month is going to help anyone get into better shape. I must have walked hundreds of miles with that backpack and lost over half a stone.

The trouble is in the winter when it's cold/snowing/raining and that lazy voice in my head complains it's too cold to go running. I can banish that voice with submodality work but having this cool exercise equipment is a very practical step. Can't wait for it to arrive.

It was 10 years ago, in 1997, that I came across the community. My Swedish girlfriend had left me to while away a few hours, during which time she had to attend lessons. It was in this infamous computer room I fucked her on the one of the PC benches. So began a penchant for my girls liking risky sex. We did it on the outdoors balcony in Gothenburg and she blew me on a train, another chick I did over the front of my car, another chick got fingered on a road bridge in Spain. It’s funny to talk about these girls in the past tense, like they are dead or something – they are all very much alive; it’s just that I feel I carry them round inside me – little personality aspects which I have held onto and made them mine because they were touching, affecting – in this case they had an adventurous streak which was very appealing. These characteristics I collected from them were damn useful too. As I recently told my most recent conquest, a tall Czech blonde beauty 10 years younger than me – “I collect people”. By that I mean two things – I try to include quality people in my life. I also mean I collect useful communication strategies I have observed – ways of speaking, mannerisms, gestures, tonalities, ways of thinking, which I see are really effective. I suppose you could call it modelling people or aspects of who they are.

But back to that computer room in Stockholm. I’d been flicking around while my LTR was out of the room (and that is not a euphemism for screwing girls while she studied!). I happened to do a search on ‘seduction’. A click brought me to the Ross Jeffries Speed Seduction website. I won’t go into large amounts of detail about what followed from this, suffice to say that I felt I was coming home – I’d met a group of people who had similar passions to mine. Here was a community of people who wanted to get better at laying girls and generally improve themselves. I’ve written about this episode before, in Tao of Stevie, I think, so I won’t go into explaining my already high interest in NLP and hypnosis (one day I had found a library book signed by Milton Erickson in Stockholm library!).

That website search had not been a lucky strike – I’d been into meeting girls for 10 years previously but I had been on my own up to that point. Sure, I’d laid a dozen chicks or so and kissed hundreds, but it was not until I found the online community that I was able to hone my skills and understandings with any consistency. On the other hand, looking back, I think the community disturbed my game a bit because it was forcing me to be aware of things that had been previously running on autopilot,  and surfing the net kept me in the house on my own a lot more, whereas previously I had been out in the field. I quickly followed up my Speed Seduction studies with in-depth reading and application of Mystery’s teachings and Maniac High’s exploits. Tyler Durden came along and he injected some cockiness into my game, though I had to recalibrate my game once more due to the fun of tilting to extremities.

I travelled. I went all over Europe meeting people from the community. I went to Australia. I gamed people all the time. I did inter rail. I met and lived with a natural in Germany for a year. I lived in Sweden, Spain, Italy, Scotland and Asia. I met Ross, I met Mystery, I met Papa, I met TD, and I met Style. They even said I was cool and had good game. Wow. They saw me blowing hot. But I would, and still do, blow cold. No jokes about BJs (though I got some good ones along the way). I laid girls from all over the world, yet I don’t see myself as all that good. Gaming is such a state dependant skill. Someone recently said to me that gaming is a ‘soft skill’ – one where if you don’t practise it, you lose your sharpness at it. You have to get back into the field and do it if you want to keep or increase your skill level. Anyone who has been in a LTR for a while and has settled into the comfort zone will tell you about this happening. You are getting good sex. You are comfortable. You stop chasing other girls. You stop keeping her on her toes because you have ‘got her’ now. Then you stop getting sex from her because you have become a wimp again. You are no longer the person she liked and was attracted to when you first met. She, as part of her ongoing need for security and for a provider for her children, slowly beta-ises you (if you let her) and you are left with no LTR and a blunt skill set. A lot of guys in these circumstances get pissed off, angry and say girls are all bitches. You have to guard against this. Keep social!

I have been there and back. I was there recently and am on the rise again. I know myself pretty well and know my faults and strengths. I play to my strengths and try to consciously act to limit my weakness or to avoid getting into situations where my weaknesses could be allowed to exhibit themselves. I tend to become too nice once I am in the comfort zone with a chick. I rarely, if ever, fall out with my girls. We tend to end things amicably most of the time and I hate letting go of them. I am too emotional. I am too sensitive emotionally. I sometimes lack motivation and get into a rut. I know these things about myself. Of course they are also positive things too in the right circumstances. Without my emotional sensitivity I would not be so good at calibrating other people’s moods and unspoken thoughts. Without my wish to display amicable understanding, my rapport game would not be so tight and far fewer of those connections would be genuinely incredible. And without that ability to switch off from the game and step back from it all I would be subject to far more anxiety about having to do things I really don’t want to do. It keeps me in my own reality.

The last ten years have been good and have gone fast. I’ve met some great people, I’ve had some great relationships, and I’ve had great sex and a host of adventures. I’ve also managed to stay true to my principles of being as honest as I can to myself and of being respectful to other people if they deserve it and respect me. I try to give people the benefit of the doubt and I see the glass as half-full. I hope I’ll keep improving in the years to come and that I’ll meet more good people along the way. Life is there to be enjoyed, as I see it. It’s about getting the balance right of doing what you want to do without hurting others, of staying true to yourself and what is important to you in terms of your deep values, and it’s about having fun along the way.

I’ve put myself through the ringer in the past simply for the learning experience or to get ahead in the market place. There should be time to reap the rewards you’ve sown too otherwise it is all for nothing – like money you never, ever spend. Outside your door, away from the screen is where the real fun is, so get out there and put your knowledge and skills into practise – turn that paper bill into something you really want.

Stevie PUA. August 2007. England.

As consumerism and commercialism take off into the stratosphere, has there been a steady erosion of social skills and a promotion of physical appearance as a compensation?

I say this because in Asia it seems to be at an extreme. In Hong Kong (and in commercialised European places such as Stockholm, Hamburg and London) it strikes me that social skills are dying a death. People stare like fuck but will go to great lengths to avoid speaking to each other.

Guys are now paying gurus to teach them basic socialising skills. In Asia people work 12 hours or more a day in a defined job where you don't talk about non-work things much. After all, people might get an edge over you if they know about who you really are. Ironic that the rumour network (only among people you have know for ages) is so insistent!

It pays for business to promote cosmetics, clothes etc as the ways to gain happiness. For girls there has always been an element of this. Girls are judged in terms of reproductive fitness by their physical appearance more than men. But in today's Asian (and Stockholmian) world no fucker seems to talk to each other beyond in a functional way. I hate this because it forces me to shut down vast parts of my personality. No one here 'gets' what I am on about - and it is not just the language barrier. It's the lack of wide knowledge in the society.

I find myself not wanting to talk to the HK girls around me because they are so vacuous and have nothing to say. Sure, they spend tons of money on their hair and make up, but ultimately they bore me.

I remember practising the piano years ago at home. During my practice my sister would regularly put on a dumbass Australia soap opera and over-audio my piano. This made my musical efforts not only difficult but said to me that investing in musical or other self-development skills were to be shat upon by popular culture which had the importance of a goldfish's literary education. Flush it down the toilet and no one misses it.

I like clubs with hot girls but those screens and loud music are chewing gum for the ears and eyes. They take away from the art of conversation. Is it designed like this to let the thick-skulled and vacuous people get away with it? It's fine to dance but don't let the fact that you have loud music give you an excuse not to develop your conversation skills. This is not the case for PUAs but can often be so for the general population.

And so ends my short rant against the people of today whose minds are easily influenced by shallow, fleeting consumerist influences. That type of person is ultimately unattractive because they have such a tenuous grip on their own reality. The reality of others is easily imposed upon their simple minds.

In the same way, I meet guys who say 'If only I could get another 2 inches on my biceps I'd be king', but they spend no time practising their social skills.

The other type I have met  - some are thin, greying, not rich, and have routinely cleaned up in bars and clubs. I've seen them in action. They outdo me and I am proud to have them as friends and as people I can learn from.

Back to basics. We are dealing with prehistoric brains ultimately. Pay attention to current culture for sure but give it a nod rather than diving in so unthinkingly with a double consumerist back-flip which will not bring sustainable gold, or even a bronze medal, at the social Olympics.

That is the title of a Smiths song - "Please Please Please Let Me Get What I Want".

It's not a good model to base your life on no matter how much fun self-victimization might make you feel better.

I've been there and survived it. All men have secrets and here is mine, so let it be known - I have been through hell and high tide .. so I know I can rely on MYSELF.

PLEASE DON'T BE CONVENTIONAL.

That is the message of this post.

I just came in from buying sushi in Asia. I talked to a western couple in the sushi shop. I busted them for not being Chinese, for being too tall to be Chinese. I broke the ice, I was not another social robot running on autopilot. I took a risk and engaged with them as REAL PEOPLE. They were not expecting it, but I was able to feel good about myself for breaking the ice and being friendly and not studiously avoiding people - that wears me down mentally in its element of insincerity over time. It requires me to shut down vast aspects of my personality to accomodate the conventions of the local culture (so I CANNOT stay here long term).

I realise this is not the usual thing to do in some big cities. People are used to operating on auto and only engaging each other in 'socially acceptable' circumstances.

Well guess what? We are social creatures by evolutionary design. We LIKE to get out and meet people, and when you feel frustrated at living in a big city, chances are the other people in your city are feeling the same way to a lesser or greater degree. As evolutionary animals we are programmed to respond to people who are high status - these are people we can ally ourselves with or denigrate as rivals if we have to. Either way, by standing out, they make an impression which is lasting/interesting.

We should be that man. We need to say 'fuck you' to the social rules of not doing what we feel (but CALIBRATE and do so in an acceptable way - one which shows value but is not overly pushy so that you get blanked out by someone who feels threatened). Be forward because it is who you GENUINELY are underneath all the societal programming that seems increasingly crammed on top of us.

By the way, I STILL feel the programming even if I am guarding against it, have studied NLP in depth and don't even HAVE a TV. I still feel the bullshit expectations of society, especially in Asia - that is a major reason why I have to escape Asia at the end of this year and get back to my usual stomping ground of Europe where I can use my language sarging skills.

About my LTR - it's been on/off. She wants to marry me. I keep putting her off and playing for time. Lovely girl - very sweet, but I need time to be free sometimes so it is hard to commit.

Years ago, I  used to think I'd be successful with girls by being honest and emotional and sharing my feelings.

After all, those are the qualities 'society' told us we should exhibit. HOWEVER - what if everyone exhibits them? How does one tell the differences? If everyone loves you, how do you choose?

Therefore these are the questions of our times:

SHOULD YOU make promises you don't intend to keep? (no)
 (these are often made because promisers have no other options)

 I had a comment to this post - along the lines of sharing our feelings and being honest is a good thing to do - that is what naturals do.

Yes, there is a right and wrong way to do this.

Many men are brainwashed into being 'girlie-men' and think that by being her sensitive girlfriend with a dick they will get in with the chick. That's why so many men go straight for rapport with a chick who they don't even know. And that is why chicks are suspicious often about the initial 'nice guy approach'. They think you want something, and often you do.

What naturals do far better is communicate honestly in the way they let their intentions show but do so in an acceptable way. They can sub-communicate multiple messages - ones that say 'I am a man with desires, I make no apology for that", while at the same time being seen to be communicating honestly. They don't always give a girl what she wants because they know she is only human and the guy knows he has a life of his own and the girl is only a part of it.

Once she has shown her worth, she might become a bigger part of his life, but not before.

I was lying in bed thinking about HB T. It struck me with her it is likely to be all or nothing. I like the girl for a lot of reasons, she seems to be into me too, in fact I have never had a girl so clearly into me for a long time.

How do I know she is so into me? It comes through in what she does for me, and more importantly HOW she communicates with me. She is extremely congruent in her communication. She looks at me with a doggy dinner bowl look all the time and does what she says she will do.

Why is it all or nothing then?

All – she really is into me as much as she is signalling. That’s all good. She is thinking the same things that she is showing me in her communication. Therefore she really digs me in a strong way. Great.

Nothing – Is she is not really into me as much as she seems and is the best fucking actress I have ever encountered? If so, then how can you trust someone like that for a moment longer? That kind of fake believability is dangerous and is the realm of sirens and cult leaders. If I find out she isn’t for real then it has to end because she is really good at faking it congruently.

The thing is, until something slips you have no way of telling if a person is for real or not. Can you tell I have been played before? Yes, the players get played sometimes too.

As there is no way of finding this out until it happens, my philosophy as a generally optimistic person is to throw myself into the positive cause and enjoy the moment while it lasts. Maybe it will last a long time. If one keeps harbouring all these doubts it just leads to self-doubt and doubting the other person. That leads to and exacerbates present insecurities.

No, better to plough ahead in the expectation that all is good and stay with the “all” rather than the “nothing” until the overall positive balance has tipped against you. In this specific case a small tilt will upset the scales completely I fear, because it will mean I have been playing with counterfeit measures.

I hope not though. I want it to be real.

This is my new journal site. All of my new posts will be here.

The advantage of this is I own the whole thing. Steviepua.com is mine now and I’ll add to it over the coming weeks and months.

It feels good to have full ownership of my own posts and archives. After all, these were always my intellectual property. I never minded having them hosted by other sites because the ideas were out there in the community. But I know they are secure here now on my own site! I control everything.

I’m still in Hong Kong for the next month or two and then I will return to England. It’ll be great to be back home. I plan to have a long holiday in Europe early in 2008 and, of course, it’ll be a sarge tour. It always is when you live the lifestyle.

The future is wide open. I like that. Early next year I might hit up northern Spain, the Greek Islands, Mediterranean Turkey, Romania even Israel and Egypt at some point. Then there is the apartment in Prague idea. That’s been on the horizon for a while. Got to make it happen.

Get in touch if you are in those areas and we’ll meet.

Cheers,

Stevie

“Enter the Stevie”

by Xeno

He can be cool, witty, or classy at any time. Ranking up to the top of the PUA foodchain, SteviePUA has his own insights and explains his game FULL THROTTLE, no holds barred edition style. He lays it all out on the table and doesn’t take any prisoners along with him. In this interview, you will find out about his thorough breakdown of his ultimate game, his recent “Special Guest” appearance at the TD & Papa workshop in London, being contacted for ASF release into mainstream hands, his systematic approach to Kino calibration, his possible private release of pick up footage, meeting his idol Mystery, rapport specifics & techniques, and much much more included in this long in-depth interview with SteviePUA.

Xeno: What is your full name?
SteviePUA: Steve. I need to keep my full identity private due to my job. That is why I also blank out my photos.

Xeno: What is your age?
SteviePUA: 29

Xeno: Where do you currently reside?
SteviePUA: Newcastle, England

Xeno: How is the PUA scene over there where you live?
SteviePUA: It is not advanced. Most of it is caveman style. I find someone with even an average amount of real game skill can do well because HB’s are not used to it. It is mostly a party city. Lots of drinking, good time girls.

Xeno: Have you made the trip to the states yet?
SteviePUA: Yes. I have family in Pennsylvania. I have also been to Arizona, Florida, South Carolina, Virginia, Maryland, and New Jersey.

Xeno: Formhandle recently just held the 2003 Boston PUA Convention a few weeks ago. Would you like to see more in the future?
SteviePUA: Sure, why not. Anything that brings people together and helps promote learning and friendship and a sense of community.

Xeno: Would you think you would be able to make it if there was another similar event held?
SteviePUA: I’d love to meet up with people in the States. I will travel there before too long. Whether I get to a future conference like that is more a matter of being free from work than the will to go. I’d love to meet up with guys in the states. American girls seem to like me anyway, I don’t know why .

Xeno: How is life going for you at the moment?
SteviePUA: It is going well. I am happy with my progress over the last few years. I am not as good as I want to be(I think only a few people are) and I am continuing to push myself to improve. Outside of PU, my state is really good and has been for a couple of years. I find even when not thinking consciously about PU, the training you do rubs off into other areas of your life. If you learn to control your state and thoughts about HB’s, you can take that control and transfer it to other areas of life. And yet, even when I’m not thinking about PU, on some level I am always thinking about it. I can’t switch it off completely.

Xeno: What would you like to do as your career?
SteviePUA: I am happy in the one I am in for now. That is the realistic answer. If you want a fantasy, I’d be the next Dirk Diggler or Tom Cruise (I think I am a pretty good actor by all accounts- my intent never leaks out!) or a treasure diver.

Xeno: What kind of music do you like to enjoy to listen, any specific bands? Any specific songs?
SteviePUA: I like the Smiths, Dylan, Pulp, Joy Division, New Order, The Fall, Oasis, Blur, Elastica, Police, Sex Pistol, REM…it is a long list. A lot of it is either 80s/Britpop/or 60s stuff with strong lyrics. I like music which has some meaning in the words. Something that stimulates my mind and gets me thinking about life.

Xeno: How long have you been in the game?
SteviePUA: Since I was 14.

Xeno: Since you have been in the game for all those years, how have you seen the “game” in general progress? Has it gotten harder? Easier?
SteviePUA: When I was 14, there was no theory to worry about. In that sense it was easy, you just made a request and chicks went along with it because they were 14 too and had few bitch shields. As you get older, the girls get more sophisticated. They learn to play the game, usually they learn faster than the guys do. The guys are busy watching football matches and fighting while the girls are talking all the time about relationships. The HB’s generally get a head start. So I spent a few years playing catch up and learning some basics. I was always good intuitively, but I had to learn the specific skills and ways of thinking. Overall, it got harder in the early 20s for me but easier once I started training for real. Not so much the age I think, more just the stage at which I started training for real.

Xeno: Were there any negatives through your whole PUA experience so far?
SteviePUA: If you count getting “rejected” in the early days before I had good state control, then that was pretty much as bad as it got. But I soon learned that rejection is a good thing. It shows you are taking EXACTLY the right kind of action that is necessary for growth and real life learning. I mean I never got beaten up by any husbands! Though Deborah the Dancer’s ex man came around one night while I was in her house and I shit myself for a few minutes.

Xeno: How has the PUA lifestyle changed you as a whole? Were you ever a dork before?
SteviePUA: No, I was never a dork. I was pretty quiet at times. I am a lot more rounded as a person now. I am much more talkative, outgoing, confident. I feel much centered now and happier too.

Xeno: What got you interested into alt.seduction.fast anyway? Were there goals you wanted to achieve? Was it just a hobby you wanted to take part of?
SteviePUA: I got into ASF through Ross’s materials. He started ASF. I wanted consistency. I could do well sometimes, yet it wasn’t always repeatable. Also, I knew I needed to work on the inner game. I was giving the HB’s too much power that they didn’t deserve. I needed to have better state management. It was more than a hobby. More like a way of life. Like I said before, I can’t switch off the PU thinking. It runs 24/7. It is all I think about on a primitive level. I am always the lead actor in my own script. I always seem to see myself from a camera up above…I can distance myself from the event and watch it play out like in a movie. I think I need an audience.

Xeno: When you first entered the seduction world, what was your first reaction to it? Did you think this seduction material was all crap at first?
SteviePUA: No, not at all. I thought there was a gold mine of good material. I remember finding Maniac’s site in 2000 and it blowing my mind. I knew I’d come home.

Xeno: Do you believe in Ross Jeffries and his Speed Seduction material to be helpful when used by itself? It seems that it is advocated in TFM?
SteviePUA: I definitely believe it is useful in a number of ways. The mindset is one you can take to just about any other method- not supplicating, being a challenge, engaging her, making her work for it. That is a mentality you can use in your favor all the time. When I use SS, I use it in a way that I know works for me. You have to know how to use it so it sounds natural. I have met people who just don’t know how to use it. It is a skill you really need to spend some time working at in order to learn it well. I talked with MarqueOne in Newcastle and he thought SS sounded false…until he heard me using it. Then he said he thought it sounded really natural. I use it in a way that fits my personality. I think that it is vital. If you parrot words and don’t make it fit the situation, it can sound robotic or too heavy. And we need to differentiate SS patterning and SS. SS is bigger than patterning. That is just a subskill. I often use it to build light interest in the “selling myself” stage and then again more heavily once I have got IOI’s from her and know she is ready for some heavy seducing.

Xeno: What kind of method and tactics and techniques do you use to incorporate into your game?
SteviePUA: I use SS, MM, C&F, Tyler’s material, sexual evolution theory, Ericksonian hypnosis, NLP, Bandler, set theory, anchoring, patterning, teasing, busting, phase shifting, conveying personality, etc. I could go on. This list is not exhaustive. Magic too, mind reading, cold reading, and palmistry.

Xeno: What target HB group are you sarging? Early 20s, 7-8s?
SteviePUA: 20s/30s. 7s-9s. I rarely see a 10 where I live and of those, I am getting 7s to 8.5s. I want to be getting 9s. That is my goal. Told you I want to get better.

Xeno: What condom do you recommend for the PUA’s?
SteviePUA: I have been using Durex Elite. I think it’s pretty good.

Xeno: Now in your whole lifetime, what would be a rough estimate to the number of girls you have laid?
SteviePUA: Fucked about 25 only. Been sexual(oral, fingers, etc.) with perhaps 40. Kissed hundreds.

Xeno: In your mind, who is your perfect 10?
SteviePUA: I don’t know if I have one. I see some chicks who are stunning to look at, but don’t have the personality to match. For me she has to have the face, body, and personality. She has to be an interesting and interested person.

Xeno: I have heard that you are working on your attraction game. How is that going at the moment? Have you mastered it or are you still compiling it?
SteviePUA: I am getting quite good at it. I am using C&F, busting, teasing, Push/Pull. They are working well. I am experimenting TD’s formula of going for attraction first and then using my rapport skills. I find it works well for me like that.

Xeno: What kind of state builders do you use? Do you push the girl into a lot of different states or do you let the conversation proceed naturally?
SteviePUA: No, I lead. I definitely don’t let it proceed naturally, whatever that means. Naturally for who? There is “naturally” for different people. I have an agenda when I sarge. I firstly want to meet people. I want to entertain them. To have a conversation. I want to see if they are worthy of more. If they are hot, I want to test if they have more going for them. If they show IOI’s, I want to see how far I can push them and so on. I don’t let it happen naturally in that sense. I am working within a series of frames, always testing and judging if, and when, they are ready to move on. And deciding when and how they should be moved forward if they are worthy. So no, it doesn’t happen “naturally”. They might THINK it feels natural to them. But to me, I am moving them according to my agenda. And that doesn’t have to be a bad thing either. I am never going to push someone into something they don’t want to do. I am totally respectful of a firm decision based on considered opinion. But I will initially take the lead and watch to see if they are ready to follow my lead, or if they need to be handled differently.

Xeno: Do you think NLP is essential? Would it only serve as a supplement to someone’s game?
SteviePUA: NLP uses techniques that some people have been using for ages anyway. It just quantifies them and makes them more explicit and easier to model and learn. It is not essential to PU in itself, but many of the skills it teaches are very useful at times. It is definitely worth studying if you want to learn to communicate to people in a more effective way.

Xeno: What kind of attitude do you impose when you sarge? A “I don’t give a fuck about anything” attitude?
SteviePUA: No. I am entertaining and looking for rapport from the start. I always go for differentiating myself and getting inside how the person thinks. I am always looking for an inroad into their experience. I might initally combine rapport building with busting(they are NOT mutally exclusive). In a sense, internally, I think “I don’t care if she digs me or not”, as there are millions of chicks. But in another sense, I am respectufl and treat her as a person. Yet in a way, that says to her that I am not going to be around. She know, or should know if I sell myself well, that here is a guy who has value, yet who is not needy and who can meet others, who will in turn sense his value.

Xeno: What kind of strategies do you use when you are in rapport? Do you use any specific order or techniques to gauge her interest even further?
SteviePUA: I try to get a hook into her experience. In rapport, I mirror. Remember mirroring is a sign you are ALREADY in rapport, not a magical technique to create rapport from nothing. I use my words to entertain. I often circle through themes, all the while looking for non-verbal IOI’s from her. And when I get one, I run with it. I take what she offers in terms of themes and trancewords and amp them up, repeating them in a similar, yet non-obvious way, so as to bring them to life in connection to me. They become anchored to being with me. I sometimes use mindreading in rapport phase to heighten the experience that we are connected. I could go on and on in this area but time is limited and SO much to me is instinctive.

Xeno: For your game, what kind of body language do you emphasize on?
SteviePUA: I can’t easily describe body language, yet it is a MAJOR, MAJOR part of why I often do well. It comes largely from my facial expressions which are either very congruent with my verbal communication(so my agenda does not seep out) or are AMBIGUOUS- the target does not know if I am serious/joking/interested/uninterested. I have had a TON of chicks say they don’t know if I am joking with them sometimes. I can control that ambiguous communication so it serves me, i.e. I can, in the right circumstances, make suggestions which are sexually/romantically ambiguous. This allows one to seed ideas in her mind and she doesn’t know for sure if she is thinking of them herself spontaneously or if you are putting them there deliberately. This creates states of wonder and intrigue and allows you to influence in a covert, yet very powerful way.

Xeno: Do you show your sexual state/sexuality in a confident way right off the bat, something like Gunwitch does? Do you just take things smoothly & slowly?
SteviePUA: I do show a state that is confident. I think that is very important for most sarges. Yet, I think I don’t often do a sarge that is really blatently caveman. I can do that if I want(I like to be able to do different styles to suit the occasion). And again, I don’t take it slowly either. I fuck with their minds in a way that on some level communicates that I am sexual and have value, yet in away that for them is hard to define exactly what I am signaling. The advantage of that is they credit themselves with these feelings that, actually, might have been suggested to them by me. And because I know those feelings are sneaking in there and that the chick isn’t thinking “he is doing that deliberately”, it allows me to go under the radar and bypass resistance before they can compute it consciously. I typically go for making a non-sexual/ambiguous impact and one I have that inroad, use it for leverage into something bigger.

Xeno: Do you agree with Gunwitch’s material? How have you used it in your sarges?
SteviePUA: I read Gunwitch’s material and saw how it could be useful to guys who are learning the game. I knew much of what he was talking about anyway. I used what he talked about anyway from time to time, though for me, the thrill of the chase and getting inside her mind is what it is all about. The banging is amazing too, but it is conquering her and having her admit she wants me- that is the real thrill.

Xeno: How do you apply KINO progression subtely so you don’t come off as creeping her out at first? Is there a specific order you implement or just go naturally?
SteviePUA: Yes, there is a system. Start very light. And I only start it when I am established with the chick. Once she sees you are an ok guy and that you have something to offer(ideally when you have got IOI’s) then I begin kino. It can happen with seconds if she gives a response that is very positive early on. Other times, it might take 5 to 10 minutes to get past the bitch shield or shit tests. I will rarely spend much longer than that on a chick if she is not responding. It’s just not worth the effort generally as there ARE lots of chicks who are interested in opening up early to you or who at least will give an opening which can be steadily built upon.

Xeno: What kind of character do you like to project for girls? A bad boy, classy, or something else?
SteviePUA:: Something intriguing. Not bad boy. Certainly a little class but mostly a little of something else. A certain je n’cest quai. I don’t know what. Excuse my poor French. In Swedish they say, “jag forsok att visa en lite jag vet inte” or so. I try to firstly stand out and capture their attention. I show something different and get them thinking actively about what I am saying. I try to create rapport. To learn within a minute how they respond to people in general. And I watch for positive responses I can repeat and amp up in my favor.

Xeno: What is your preference to sarge more, Groups or Lonewolfs?
SteviePUA: It is changing though I don’t want it to. I used to prefer to go myself and that is how I’d usally do it. Yet, the last 5 months or so, I have lacked the motivation to go out myself. It has been a sticking point that comes from having FB’s. I think to myself “I already have a few chicks who are into me and I have banges, so it doesn’t matter if I sarge new chicks. I get lethargic. That is something I want to change because I like sarging myself.

Xeno: Do you think it’s important to have a wing in your daily outings?
SteviePUA: No, not so important. You need to be able to be self-sufficient. A wing is a bonus. It can be useful once you go solo(lone wolf). But master the basics first. Become self reliant and then have a wing later. Otherwise, you can get to the point where you depend on your wing to go out with you or you can’t go out. That is the danger anyway.

Xeno: What kind of tactics do you use when you’re doing groups? Mystery Method Style or something of your own? You recently posted something on disarming the guys first in an advanced post?
SteviePUA: Oh generally I use MM, yes. I entertain them and go under the radar.

Xeno: Do you prefer to use canned material or just natural conversation flow?
SteviePUA: I have tried both. Overall, I think it is better if you can come up with material tailored to the situation or the person you are communicating with. Though, I can see value in using scripts if you can make them naturally congruent with your way of communicating.

Xeno: What do you do with AMOG’s who keep annoying you? Do you use a AMOG destroyer or simply ignore them?
SteviePUA: I try to either befriend them or blow them out. Tyler did some good tactics on blowing out AMOGs by offering the guy $100 for him to take the HBs off your hands(said in front of the HBs!).

Xeno: Do you think the term “alpha” should be taken seriously? Everyone is flaming each other and saying “oh that’s not alpha, that’s beta.” Should you just be yourself or should you be the most alpha as you can be?
SteviePUA: Look at the smaller picture a little and see what is necessary specifically to your game on a skillset level rather than talking in generalities about what is alpha. Keep it practical.

Xeno: Do you think with girls whom you have been “LJBF’ed” before, should you run game on them? Is it even worth it since you are already labeled by them as just a friend?
SteviePUA: My answer is no, I try to just meet someone new, now that I have the skill to do that.

Xeno: Do you think giving compliments to a girl is ideal once a while when you feel like it? Should it be just given when you think they deserve it or does it just seems supplicative?
SteviePUA: They should be given mostly in the rapport phase, when she has already seen your value. Then you don’t come across as someone trying to slimely ingratiate himself into her life with compliments. Once she has seen that you have value and is attracted, she will want to get to know who you are. As a reward, and as a reward especially for when she has done something to please you in rapport(comfort) phase, you can give a compliment. You can use C&F compliments in attract phase to build attraction, but these are not your classical attempts to get “in” with her. Then they are used in a playfully obvious way, e.g. “You are from Rome OMG, I LOVE you…I love people from Rome, you can be my new wife…but hang on, can you cook good Italian food?” These kind of compliments communicate a different meaning to your regular “I like your dress” compliments.

Xeno: Do you have any current LTR’s right now? What do you think the purpose of them are if you could just get any other girl at any time you liked?
SteviePUA: I can’t get any chick I want all the time. I wish I could. I am not that good. I am still learning and practicing. I have one serious FB, one occasional FB, and 2 others I am seeing(one who I have fucked).

Xeno: Do you think one should work on inner game first and then consume the material or the other way around?
SteviePUA: Simultaneously. Read, try out, post, learn, try out. It can happen in any order but it must all happen if you want to progress. I think it is important to have a higher percentage of infield time than online time. Maybe 80/20, 70/30, or 60/40 in favor of the real world, depending on the person and their stage of understanding.

Xeno: Where are some good places to sarge in your own preference?
SteviePUA: I like bars which have music but not really loud. I like places where you can move about and meet people…not those with static table bound crowds. Clubs can be good I admit, but my club game needs to be better. I do well on the street/trains too.

Xeno: Which do you prefer: nighttime PU or daytime street sarging?
SteviePUA: It depends on the location. I can do nighttime or daytime. Overall, maybe nighttime but I prefer pubs and bars to nightclubs simply because my club game is not as strong and in bars I can talk to people without shouting in their ear. In a bar, you can use more complex/intelligent game. I find in clubs that I have to shout so loud, that I can’t do the things I can usually do in a bar/pub. And the street or shops are ok daytime or nighttime. I was out in London with Papa and Sickboy and I did some good sets. They even videoed some of it in Papa’s Sony Clie. There was a really nice daytime 4 set in a clothes shop. I must ask Papa to send me a copy.

Xeno: Do you believe routines and props serve to be useful in sarges or are they just extra baggage?
SteviePUA: They can be very useful. You can lock chicks in. You can use tarot and hand writing analysis(see Orion’s Magical Connection Video for a good example of this). Props are useful for sure. It depends of course on the prop, the chick, the environment, and the stage of the sarge that you use them in. I don’t believe there is a magic bullet to solve all PU’s with though. Use sparingly and well in the right circumstances.

Xeno: Do you believe in peacocking to give you that “celebrity aura”? How does it help from your point of view? What kind of accessories and clothes do you wear?
SteviePUA: Yes, I think peacocking is helpful. I have a party shirt that I wear, it is flowery and it stands out. I bought a “magic jacket” recently with magical symbols on it which helps me open the theme of magic and give demos of mindreading. I have some stripper pants with zips up each leg. I have glitter for my hair(though only use it for clubs) and have necklaces, rings, and bracelets. A funny thing is both me and Spirit have independently chosen the same peacocking neclace! It was really fun when he saw my necklace and said “I have that one!” Peacocking helps you stand out, reflects your inner personality, makes people curious about you, and gives shy chicks an excuse to open you with a comment on what you are wearing. You can even lock chicks in by putting your hat on them and then going off to sarge other chicks as pawns before returning for your lock in prop.

Xeno: What is your most favorite aspect of the game and why? Whether it be attraction, rapport, sex itself, or conversing with other people. What is your take?
SteviePUA: The thrill of the chase. The seducing of them of having her into you. Using your skills to attract her both mentally and physically, to make her want me as much as I want her. That is what I love. In terms of what I’m good at: I am good at calibrating, rapport building, and physical closing once I sense IOI’s. And pretty respectful in the bedroom by all accounts. I love the sex too of course, especially with someone who I have fucked with before, then you know what you both want and how to pleasure each other. That is why recruiting FB’s is so rewarding.

Xeno: Who are your influences and inspirations, say your role models in the PUA world and real world?
SteviePUA: Well Mystery, TD, Papa, Sickboy. My mother, my dad(as a NEGATIVE influence in that I don’t want to become like him as he is so boring and AFC and just sits in front of the TV all week), my friend “Natural” Mike, probably the best PUA I have spent lots of time with(I hung with the other guys only for a few days). Teachers from school who inspired me, songs I like that energize me, my former boss in Hamburg. I COLLECT rolemodels. And I use the word MODEL explicitly here because I DO model them. I figure out what it is about their behavior or communication that I find useful and try to incorporate it and their way of thinking into my life. I should have mentioned Style as being an influence on me too earlier.

Xeno: Who is your biggest influence currently on your game right now?
SteviePUA: Now, Tyler. I still am influenced strongly with MM and SS. For SS, I think the mindset rocks- the non-supplicating, challenging, making her work for it. I rarely do canned patterns. What I do is a lot of on the fly story telling and building states after I’m in the rapport/comfort building/isolation stage.

Xeno: I heard you were recently a special guest in one of TD’s and Papa’s workshops. August 2nd? How was your experience in that?
SteviePUA: It was great. I’d met the guys 2 weeks before and hung out with them. They wanted me to teach on the workshop but I have to work at my job every other weekend or so. I hung out with them over a couple of days and it rocked. They are cool guys. TD is a good teacher and really knows his stuff.

Xeno: How is TD IRL? Is it an exaggeration that he is obsessed with the game?
SteviePUA: I think he is very much into the game, yes. In a good way. He wants to get good and to help others improve too. He is very focused. He was very civil and welcoming to me, he was good to be around. I have heard people call him, but he couldn’t have been nicer to me. We hit it off well and I like TD a lot. He has so much to offer.

Xeno: What is your opinion on seduction seminars and workshops such as those with Mystery and Tyler Durden & Papa Combo?
SteviePUA: I think they are a good idea on a few levels. The most important is that people get to see skilled guys in action. There are so many things you can’t convey in text form. You have to see the facial expressions, the body language, to hear delivery of lines, to sense the energy of the interaction, to notice the timing. A workshop teaches you that. Also, it allows you to ask personalized questions and get one-on-one help for any sticking points. And being around guys with the same interest is motivating and gives you a push, I find.

Xeno: If you were interested in participating in more of the workshops, would us mASF’ers be seeing you in many more workshops to come?
SteviePUA: For sure. I have been invited to the next TD & Papa workshop at the end of August in London, and I will go assuming I am free from work that weekend. I also loved hanging with Mystery at the MM workshop in London. The game is a passion of mine and I can think of a few things(beyond the obvious) more rewarding than hanging out with guys who share the same passion and learning and teaching together with them.

Xeno: How was Mystery anyway IRL? Is he really good in the game as many people have claimed or did he fall short of your expectations?
SteviePUA: He was great. I walked into the meeting place and BANG, there he was fully peacocked, sarging 2HB’s- who later kissed me goodbye based only on the premise that I knew Mystery.

Xeno: Are you currently developing any kind of method like a SteviePUA method? Have you figured out any new stuff that you would be sharing to the community?
SteviePUA: I have thought about writing a new long article about my recent learning but don’t know when it will be out. I tend to get inspired from other people and write about how I use their methods in my personal way. Yes, there are new things I can talk about. For example, using mind reading.

Xeno: Do you have any upcoming audio updates for your site?
SteviePUA: I plan to do some new recordings now that I have my new recorder. So, yes, watch out for some over the next few weeks. I am so busy in the summer with work you see…it is the busiest time of year for me.

Xeno: You mentioned once and asked people what they would think of PUA Videos. Do you think it would be beneficial at all? You wouldn’t get any feedback and plus its not IRL?
SteviePUA: You know, I think PUA videos would be great!!! They are able to show the nonverbal communication that is so hard to understand otherwise. I have seen guys doing sarges in the field who are great, yet they are doing stuff that is not easily quantifiable in a written form. I learned so much from watching “Natural” Mike- his voice tone, his gestures, his enthusiasm, and “devil may care” attitude.

Xeno: Do you plan on releasing videos of any of your PUA sarges anytime soon? Have you considered it?
SteviePUA: Yes, I have considered it. I worry a little about the privacy though. I have a job that is a little sensitive. Papa has videoed me in action in London and I am proud of the 4 set in the clothing shop in Camden Town that he videoed. I don’t think it is going to be a general release but I might consider posting it in the future if I can protect my own identity. There comes a point in this kind of work though where you start to cross over from public access work to work in selling things I find. It seems to happen naturally when you are in demand. And I have never set out to sell anything in PU. It was always about learning and helping others in return. Yet, I find when people appreciate you have something valuable, they are willing to pay a price to have it. I am not at that point yet. Frankly, I don’t think I am good enough. My theory side is good and my practical side is good SOMETIMES(as Papa and Sickboy will tell you- I showed them some interesting stuff while we were out in London together) but I really want to be good like Mystery. That, to me, is the benchmark. I might go videos in the future, but at the moment, I am not ready, though it would be a dream to make good money for sarging HBs. That is most of the guys’ fantasy job.

Xeno: What are your favorite movies PU related and real world?
SteviePUA: I like the magical connections video from Orion. I like Tom Cruise in Magnolia. Swingers was fun but remember it was only a movie. I enjoyed Dangerous Liasons, Naked, Terminator 3, Catch Me If You Can, the Eastwood Spaghetti Westerns, Indiana Jones, Cyrano de Bergarac, and Minority Report. It’s hard to recall them all. Also, I forgot to mention one of my favorite films to you earlier, “Fight Club,” watch Tyler Durden. A great example of a guy with a reality that is centered on himself. That is important in some ways. If you have a reality which says “I don’t care what others think”, then there is no shitting yourself in doing an approach. If you are the center of your world and don’t care about what others think of you, then you don’t give a shit if you get your result. You just learn to keep going and refine your approaches with every approach you do.

Xeno: Do you ever think ASF will get exposed to the public as in society where it is shown on TV and the effectiveness of this material wouldn’t be the same as it is now?
SteviePUA: It is a possibility, yes. I got contacted by a media guy a few months ago asking me to speak at a film premiere in London. I wasn’t ready for such a public event so I didn’t get involved. That shocked me a little. I didn’t think movie directors read mASF. If there are film premiers, there are press members. And I didn’t want to go public. I value my privacy. That incident is the reason my photos were taken down on my site. So yes, I wonder/worry a small amount about ASF going public.

Xeno: So he knew about ASF in particular?
SteviePUA: Yes. Surely he read my posts as he knew enough about me to value me enough to invite me to a film premiere as a guest speaker. But I wonder how many people really use the material on ASF. I think a lot of people read the material and post but don’t always use it in real life. But if word got out, I’d be concerned. Imagine seeing your mug on Oprah Winfrey one night- “Watch out for these guys! Look at this Stevie guy….always opens with a neutral opener so you don’t feel threatened.” What a bastard he must be.

Xeno: How do you see the mASF community in 5-10 years?
SteviePUA: I really don’t know. I am sure there will be some new good material to incorporate. But I don’t know if the site is as good as it was 3 years ago. I hope I am wrong and that is not a trend. I mean the site looks good, but the posts are maybe not as good. Lots of the best posters have left or retired or (GULP) settled down!!

Xeno: Would it be a good idea to introduce this stuff to new guys? It’s better if seduction is not as known where only 1% of the whole population knows it. Isn’t it better to keep it to yourself so there is less competition and less AFC’s?
SteviePUA: Well that is one way to look at it. You can look at it that way, but then again, if you close it off too much, you stop new blood and potentially new ideas getting out there and you benefiting from them. I think the people who are actually serious about the game will get to the good stuff through their contacts in the game. People who are serious will do what it takes to meet up in real life and meet guys, sarge with them, chat with them, and that way you get to learn lots of insider material that people have.

Xeno: What kind of advice would you give to an AFC who is starting in the seduction community?
SteviePUA: Have a balance between real world and online. Don’t sit at the PC reading all the time. Read for some of the time and go out and try it for real. Don’t be a keyboard jock. You could even record your sarges and get feedback. The real world is where it is all happening. Read and apply it. Of course you will mess up. Just accept that as inevitable and as a sign that you are taking the right course of action.

Xeno: Do you ever plan to get married in your whole entire lifetime?
SteviePUA: Maybe when I am older. Somewhere near 35-40 years old…maybe not. At the moment, I have no plans. I am having fun being single. I was in a relationship with a Swedish chick for over 4 years so I have been there and done that. Maybe in the future but not now. I don’t really see the need to marry right now.

Xeno: What keeps you motivated to be a PUA? Many guys quit PUAdom altogether and never return. What would you recommend to other guys who feel down and don’t want to sarge any more?
SteviePUA: I know guys who get caught up in the online game. They see other PUA’s making progress and when they don’t make the same progress, they get defeated. Look, progress comes in any area if you have the balls to stick with it and you have the same basic abilities that everyone has. A basic belief in NLP is that if one guy can perform in a certain way, then so can you(within reason). I see super HBs sometimes with guys who are plain WEIRD looking and I know these guys have something beyond their looks. And what do they have? They have personality, game, and charisma. And that does not depend on looks, although good looks are definitely an asset of course. I get motivated by my psychological desire to improve and learn, my sex drive to bang HB’s, my desire to help others, and my ego(sorry but it’s true) of recognition for achieving good results with chicks(if only my dad had given me good feedback in my teen years, then there might have been fewer chicks who had fun with me).

Xeno: Thanks for you time. You have any last comments or messages to the mASF community and the real world?
SteviePUA: Just that I am happy to contribute and to continue learning with people who are serious and dedicated about the game and who are cool to hang with.

*Note from the author, Xeno: Stevie was a cool guy to hang out with. He has a fountain of knowledge on rapport skills and he has a whole broad landscape of his attraction game. He has a lot of tools and utensils to make his game successful. His style is pretty cool and I wouldn’t mind hanging with him when we crossed paths.

*This written material may not be copied, redistributed, duplicated, reproduced, or manipulated in any form. All written material here adheres belongs to Xeno.*

Apparently romantic fiction novels are the best selling type of fiction in the world overall. That’s tens of millions of romance novels being bought and read by females around the world.

Fertile imaginations.

Do you know any girls who read these (and they come in hard and soft varieties, so to speak – romances not girls )?.

Females seem to love the drama. The battle of emotions. Look at any soap opera episode. They watch to get their emotions pumped up.  It’s what we often do in field to build attraction or keep an edge in a longer-term relationship to stop it becoming predictable.

I asked my female cousin if she likes people to argue and shout at each other. She said no. I asked if she likes people to be nice to each other and not argue all the time. She said yes. So I asked her why she watches Eastenders etc. These TV soap opera shows are full of people arguing and shouting and conflict.

She couldn’t/didn’t explain.

And it’s not just the battles but the lull, the comfort, the soft glow of emotional closeness which intervenes between the rollercoaster moments.

You could probably draw a line graph to show a typical emotional rollercoaster ride which is presented in any soap opera.

Lull, lull, spike, lull, lull, spike, lull, spike, lull, lull, spike, lull, spike, spike, lull, BIG SPIKE ENDING!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hint – do the same in field to get your own closing credits.