I recently Tweeted about a weird sarging experience that happens all the time. I find it easier to sarge mixed sets than when it's just girls. I also was thinking about how I often 'tool' the guy in the set in a very indirect way. It amounts to gradually usurping his position in relation to the females (especially the target) of the group.

Here are some thoughts on what I do well and how I do it.

I open the guy in the group. If it's a mixed 2 set, it's easy to decide who to open. If there are a number of men in the group, I'll open the one who is middle ranking. I can tell this by observing who is interacting with enough dominance to hold court and have people listen to him but not enough that he's the top dog and will perceive a challenge to his authority. Alpha males are on their guard about their status and are unconsciously aware that people will test them and try to knock them off their perch. That goes with the territory because the alpha has access to resources e.g. females in the group and can command the loyalty of other men. Other guys tend to want that.

By approaching the middle ranking of the group you can edge your way in and not trigger defence mechanisms. From there you can go under the radar and start climbing the social scale in the group. Before the alpha guy knows it, the others in the group have accepted you and soon see you as a cool guy. It's much harder for him to dislodge you then.

Similarly, in a 2 set, you want to get in with the guy and get him liking you. Then you get the trust of the girl. If the man she is with likes you then she is given unconscious permission to relax and interact with you without defences being triggered.

There are countless ways of displaying value - stories, jokes, teasing, routines. What matters is establishing value early on so you can begin to usurp the position of the people who are (until you dislodge them) seen as alphas in the group.

I gradually tool the guy both to his face and to the rest of the group. I talk about subjects that girls understand but guys don't get. For example, you can tell a lot about someone by how he dresses. I might tell a story about a guy I know who was dressed all wrong for the occasion he was going to. I might then bust the guy by saying 'but here we have Mr Armani and he'd never make that mistake.' Give him a pet name but build him up. The trick is to make yourself the unspoken expert. By telling the other guy he is cool, you are setting yourself up from the frame of being the arbiter of what is cool. By giving away your power (saying how cool he is), you are using the handicap principle, i.e. that you have resources to spare and are not challenged at all by what he brings to the table.

You might say he has great taste in music and say you are making him your resident expert on music. Set up a future adventures projection where you are going to come to him whenever you have a music question (suggesting the frame that he is at your beck and call) and that he'll know all the answers (he'll know that he cannot know ALL the answers and feel less than perfect). You can call him 'Music Master' and say he'll know all about music like a professor of music (a bookish, uncool persona to project onto him).

You can also tool him behind his back indirectly. Tell the girl, 'I'm sure Hank knows the answer' (when you are sure he doesn't). Or tell her she should get her relationship advice from Hank because he knows all about relationships - he could write an agony advice column in a girls' magazine. I bet he is a great writer and loves to listen. By this frame you are subtly emasculating him.

I could say more, but you get the general idea.

Stevie.

"I'm going to say to you..."

"I've gotta tell you..."

"Get this..."

"I never thought to ask..."

"I'm saying..."

"I was just telling my friend Steve that..."
These are ways of framing your statements. It's something a lot of good communicators do without thinking.

I'd like to think about why we do it and to collect some more.

To me, these are ways of focusing attention on yourself so you can deliver your statement (typically the beginning of a routine) with the maximum amount of attention on you.

By delivering one of these set-up statements before you go into your routine you can help ensure the maximum number of people in the set are listening to you.

These are best used in conjunction with a build up e.g. "I gotta tell you, and this is something I have NEVER told anyone before, but get this..." (you can stack them to build focus).

If you just launch into a routine without framing it you can have people miss the beginning of it and so it loses some of its effectiveness.

These framing set-up statements are something we tend to overlook because they often are unconsciously used. By using and listing more of them we can increase our impact and flexibility.

The "I was just telling my friend Steve..." line works as a quotes pattern, for example. And something like "Nobody ever seems to realize ..." sets you up as an authority over the subject about to be expounded upon.

A buddy of mine, Wicked, has as a signature (and I love this!):

<b>DO TALK TO STRANGERS</b>

It is a riposte to that old line we are taught as children 'don't talk to strangers'.

This is in case they mind-fuck your little mind or your pre-adolescent body. Or kill you.

So in many regards, this advice to kids is useful. It can, however, OUTLIVE its usefulness once we have grown up.

It survives as an almost unconscious meme in the minds of so many people.

They followed the advice as kids and never stopped following it as adults, even to the point where they WANT to talk to people they find interesting, but because they have infected their minds unthinkingly with this meme, they find it hard to talk to people.

Other memes from childhood like 'don't shout', get dropped in the right context, such as a football match. Why does this 'don't talk to strangers' one stay around?

And why is it so selective? We DO talk to strangers when getting served in a shop, for example. Why is it that it is only in social situations designed for social interaction - e.g. bars, that a lot of people will apply that meme of not talking to people?

It doesn't make sense, logically speaking. People go to these places to socialise. We see someone we would like to talk to and then don't do it. Step in and take control of your thinking and social programming.

Another way of looking at it is to not even see people as strangers. Just think of them as friends you haven't met yet.

Registering a girl is a technique that is useful in any PU situation whether it is in a bar/pub/street. By registering, I mean you make that all important initial contact with her, and even if nothing comes of it you will have made a new contact.

Suppose you are in the supermarket and are served by a girl. You smile, interact, chat with her. You remember her face, maybe find out her name, and you make sure by your enjoyable interaction that she will think fondly of your interaction. A few days or weeks later you see her in a pub or shopping with her HB friend. You talk to her and get to know the new HB. It is ok and seems natural to say “Hi, Debbie, not working today? Who is your friend?”, you introduce yourself to the friend and chat with her, making a new contact and a new girl is registered. You are networking yourself.

By talking to HBs all the time and playfully interacting in a relaxed way you build a bunch of contacts.  You gain the benefit of practising your social skills, you get used to chatting with people, and you are adding contacts.

If the only time you talk to HBs is during your weekend trips to bars then for a lot of people, you are spending the majority of the week in a state where it is not normal for you to talk to girls. I think too many people I have met only try to meet girls in the normal weekend bar circuit. The problem here is you have to change your behaviour to something new.

What if, though, you talk to HBs all week, registering, adding contacts to your mental list, and having fun all the way. Then when you go out to PU you are not doing anything much different to what you normally do anyway and the interactions are far more natural to you.

Over the last year a number of occurrences have happened to me which have led me to making and understanding a couple of distinctions. I’d like to explore these ideas here.

There are two ideas I want to present and discuss here.

Girls tend to like a smooth guy in theory but not in practice.
Guys tend to like a smooth guy in practice but not in theory.
 
To elaborate on each of these in basic terms:

By “smooth”, I mean a guy who is viewed as having good game with women. .
 
He can be seen as a player by girls who either:

a) hear about his exploits from others or credit him with social proof from his being seen with other beautiful women.

b) actually see him being sexually successful with other girls. This is not just social proof, this is beyond social proof. This is into the realm of concrete first hand experience. This is not Mr Fantasy on the white horse. This is a guy who is able to meet, attract and isolate a chick/s fast and often. Someone who is seen as being able to do this by other chicks might want to be discreet or read my post (!)

Social proof leaves room for her to wonder and be intrigued in her imagination. The chick who is seeing him interact successfully with others may be thinking “Who is this guy? Is he available? What has he got that people love so much?” But when he is actually seen making out/taking home a girl or series of girls he is viewed more as a player.

True, a few chicks might find this exciting if they are looking for one night stands, but the majority will throw up defences because they don’t want to be seen as going with a known player. After all, if she can see he is a player then it is quite likely other chicks apart from her can see he is a player too and anti-slut defences can kick in. Society is the book of woman and she’ll avoid being judged by her female peers.

The Theory

1. Years ago I used to hide the fact that I go out with a lot of chicks from chicks I was seeing. I’d make excuses and lie to them about what I’d done earlier in the week (when I’d been out with other chicks). Then there came an epiphany when I realised I could tell girls I see lots of chicks and have them see me is valuable because of it.

I began to tell girls that I was “a playboy” and when they asked if I had a girlfriend I’d say “I have five” (I actually did have five on the go at one time a while ago). I would say it in a cocky and playful way and they loved it! They asked me what it was like to have lots of girlfriends (actually some were just fuck buddies) and I’d usually be vague and never answer directly other that to say that I did see a lot of chicks. I was never rude to them about it, mentioned no names, and I never brought it up unless they did first (unless running an appropriate cocky routine that would just happen to benefit from mentioning other girlfriends) e.g. “Yeah I am SO tired too! I’ll have to tell those other girls to go easy on me in future!” Their buying temperature would jump and sometimes they’d laugh and playfully hit me. There’s definitely a way to do and not to do this successfully. The best way is to do it like you just happened to bring it up naturally, never let it seem as if you are doing it to impress her, then you are leaning in and trying to impress her. Let it happen naturally.

Then there came a realisation. This was that most chicks loved the idea of me being a playboy in theory but when it came to finding out  I was living a playboy lifestyle in practice they hated the reality. It happened that I’d fucked one fuck buddy in the afternoon and then on my way home another fuck buddy phoned me and wanted to meet me. She picked me up in her car and drove me back to my place. She took my pants off me (in the house not in the car!) and began sucking me off. After a few seconds of using her tongue on my prick she stopped and looked up at me with an expression on her face that I’d never seen before. Her words were “You have been a naughty boy, haven’t you?” She had tasted the condom flavour on my penis from having just fucked the other chick fuck buddy. The reality of my playboy lifestyle had hit home. Now it was no longer some abstract theory that she could laugh about and enjoy. This was the taste of another girl in her mouth.

I didn’t deny anything (I knew to do so would have been disasterous) and though I fucked her that day and a number of times afterwards, things were never the same and they fell apart. I’d crossed the perceptual Rubicon of being smooth in theory and being smooth in practice. I was desirable as a fantasy successful playboy but I was somewhat detested as a dirty-dog-real-life-chick-fucker. “Scent of a Woman 2 – Taste of A Rival”.

Last week here in Spain I sarged a two set of chicks. It was a super tight (read “smooth”) set and I was sure I’d be fucking either one or both of the chicks soon, but it hasn’t turned out that way. They were supplicating to me, buying me drinks, initiating kino, offering their number to me, saying their flatmates were jealous because I was with them. All the signs were there that they were super interested and yet they have not got back to me or called. It is my belief that I was too smooth. I’ll go into this sticking point a little later, so hang in here with me.

2. Guys Like A Smooth Guy In Practice

Supposing you are in a bar and you see a guy who is talking to a lot of girls, making them smile and they clearly enjoy being around him. You’d think he is a pretty cool guy and that he must be pretty good around girls, you’d think he clearly has some good stuff going for him. That’s the way girls see him too, up to a point. Then, suppose you see him making out with a series of girls or you see him week after week isolating different chicks and leaving with them. You’d think he was super cool then, right? (You might be a little jealous too but deep down you’d have admit he must be a cool guy for being able to do that). Well here is where the typical girl and guy interpretations will tend to differ. The guy who sees the player taking girls home thinks he is cool, whereas the chick who sees him successfully closing a lot of girls might put up her guard because she knows he is a smooth playboy and this is a seen as a threat in her logical mind.

I was in a bar a couple of nights ago and I met a lot of people. The guys I met all thought I was cool because I was meeting so many people, talking to chicks, getting them served first in the drinks line through my contacts with the barmaids. I was coming across to them as someone who was good socially and fun to be around. Their logical minds were saying “This is a cool guy” and I was getting offers of drinks from guys I’d hardly known for more than five minutes. They even invited me to come along with them to the next bar. I didn’t go because I was working on a number of targets in that particular bar and had set myself up a little base there, but the idea was still there – they liked me because I was smooth in practice. Here was a guy who could help them meet new chicks – I bet that is what they were thinking either consciously or unconsciously.

But being smooth in theory can come across to other guys as a threat. I remember meeting some American student guys and they invited me out for a drink one night. Naturally the conversation came up about some of the girls in their classes, how they’d like to bang such and such a chick and how they’d tried this and that. These guys were not from mASF or even RAFCs. The idea of PUA tactics simply was not on the radar. I suppose I’d have to classify them as AFC if I had to, but they were not nerdy guys – one was a cool surfer type, they just didn’t have any idea of how to game chicks.

Now, my mistake was to over-qualify myself to these guys with PUA theory. As they talked about what had happened with these various chicks they’d met or liked, I told them what was really happening to them. Like a dream-interpreter I explained to these guys the real meaning of what the girls said to them and why they did what they did. I told them what they should do and say in future. I told them about befriending the guys in the group to gain access to the chicks. You should have seen the looks on these guy’s faces! They were blown away because they could see what I was saying all made sense and it was like peeling back cataracts on their eyes so they could see properly again. It was also a stupid, stupid move on my part. Why?

It was a mistake to try to educate these guys in the way I did because they saw me as a threat. These were not wanna-be PUAs eager to learn from me and have me give my thoughts on the PUs they’d been running. Teaching guys who know something about PUA theory and are eager to learn it are different. These were guys who have never heard of PUAs and AFCs. These guys were operating from a scarcity mentality.

If I’d just shown them in the field what to do without revealing all the theory of it they’d have thought “Stevie is a sociable and cool guy to hang with – chicks have fun around him, so we like hanging around with him too.” But by explaining in a detached and machine-like way how to go about mind-fucking people in order to level the playing field that is intrinsically often stacked against us as guys when it comes to meeting girls of a good standard, I was seen by these guys as a threat. I’d even told them about befriending guys to gain access to the chicks in their social group. Doh! Our relationship has suffered as a result, to put it mildly. My point here is that guys tend to like smooth guys in practice but don’t when they are clinically presented with what the smooth guy is doing and why he is doing it. In practice, he looks like a friendly, outgoing, cool guy but in theory he seems like a manipulative predator.

Finding The Answer

That’s enough about how and why guys and girls think differently. Let’s now look at how to solve things from view of sarging girls who think you are too smooth. When it comes to being smooth around other guys I have outline about a solution to this above by saying the PUA should not explain what he is doing to other guys who are not part of the community and who typically are still thinking inside the box. It’s better with non-community guys to just run your game and come across as a super cool and sociable guy.

When it comes to meeting chicks though, we have to look for a different solution to this challenge. This is the challenge of girls thinking “this guy is too good, this guy is a player, he does this to girls all the time, I’d better watch out with this guy.”

It is the conscious mind which typically thinks this. Tyler Durden has posted about this recently and has stimulated my thoughts. One way around things is to go for a fuck close the same night so she is acting all emotionally and is swept off her feet. That way you are engaging her emotional (or drugged up/drunk if at a club!) mind, not the logical side of her.

Another way is to use some fake AFC tactics. I’d like to hear more from guys about this. I think there is a way to do it and a way not too. I have used “I’m shy” to girls after I am in with them to make it seem I am not a player. It has not worked well though because they can plainly see I am not shy around people and can easily meet and engage people, so when I say that they laugh and take it as a cocky and playful line – so making me seem even smoother!

I think there is a possible way of using “I’m shy” and similar tactics if you use it earlier on in the sarge so they can’t tell if you are serious or not. If you use it too late on and they have already decided you are not shy at all then it is not going to work. The catch 22 (unless someone can see a way round this) is that by pretending you are AFC early on, you might not open her well or at all because you come across as another lame guy. Is it possible to open in a way that is SO lame and weak that she takes pity on you and keeps the conversation going with you because she thinks you are really nervous? This is not my ideal frame to be in even for practice but it is a thought I have had.

Is the way to hold back your best game until you have isolated her and are in the sex-location? If you bring out the big guns too early (i.e. before in the sex-location) you run the risk of having her snap out of it and her logical mind thinking “too smooth”.

I’d like to hear about any other ways of getting around the challenge of chicks thinking “this guy is too smooth”.

Thanks for reading.

Smoothly yours ….

I have had messages from guys who are less experienced in the game asking for advice. They use the cocky funny techniques, and wonder what they do next. They want to know what pattern to run in such and such a situation and what to follow it up with. They want to know how to make their voice sexy. Now, these are all valid questions in their right place. The challenge here is the fact that for a lot of these guys, that is all these techniques are – TECHNIQUES. These can be good techniques but really they are only weapons to use in your arsenal. A typical question I have been asked often recently is “where do I go after cocky funny?” This is typically asked because they have little other experience of the game or maybe of life, they have no firm base on which to build their other techniques. They lack a good personality.

In today’s world we are confronted and presented all the time with images of how we should look, which fashions are required to be “in”. The advertising, and other methods, of inseminating these cultural and consumerist trends seems, at times, all pervasive. I walk around the streets of Europe and everywhere I see people who are so concerned with their appearance. They have to have the latest hair style, the latest bag, the cool look.

All this in itself is not so bad so long as you know what is happening and you are following along consciously because you want to. It is ok also as long as you are not relying on this cool appearance to do your work for you in meeting and connecting with people. It doesn’t work like that, you need to actually speak to people and get beyond superficiality if you want to have power and influence and solid game. The point I want to make here is that, while a lot of people will spend time and money on their appearance, there are very few of them who will put effort and energy into improving their personality and how they communicate with people. The more I meet people around the world, the more I notice how many of them are scared to open up and talk to people person to person.

In some countries this seems to be more extreme than in others, and even within countries I notice big differences. One of the most extreme examples I noticed was on a documentary about people in Japan who won’t leave their bedroom for years and they communicate with the outside world for food etc through written messages or faceless technology. I have lived in Sweden, Ireland, Italy, Germany, England, Scotland, Spain and the ability of the people in these places to communicate openly person to person varies greatly.

It bewilders me how people can live lives where they will spend thousands of dollars, pounds or euros on keeping up with the latest fashion that is handed down to them, while all the time they are unable to speak to each other in a genuine way. They are unable to meet new people, unable to establish good rapport or a connection with others and deep down I am sure they are not all that happy or healthy mentally. I am not a shrink, so let’s move onto ground that is more in my field of interest – PU and persuasion. Let’s discuss how important personality is when meeting, seducing or persuading others. To me, a good personality is the bedrock on which to build all the other techniques. If you can develop a good, healthy, interesting, secure personality you have the solid foundation on which everything else can solidly stand.

I want to look at busting and cocky funny techniques as a kind of case study. I experimented with these for the last seven months. I used them a lot and continue to use them in some situations. I have really field tested them heavily so I know really well how they operate when used in PU. I like these techniques. I feel powerful when I use them. Sometimes I feel too powerful because when I use them, often the response I get from the targets is really strong. They get me a lot of attention and I love attention from girls. Sometimes I don’t want to stop the playful attraction material because I am enjoying the power. Not every chick responds well to it but a lot of them do. Sometimes they are so unused to being communicated with in this way that they try to shut me down. I know what they are trying to do of course, so they aren’t successful. Sometimes the fact that they can’t win back their prima donna frame infuriates them so much that they get really pissed off with me and I end up losing them because they think I am a jerk or unobtainable.

I’d say that the negative reaction only happens from time to time. The way to go with these techniques, I find, is to use them when she is playfully testing you, then you test her back. Or use them and calibrate really well whether she is responding positively to them. If so, keep going and use them as a way to gain access to her world. If not, drop them and try something else. Keep circling through techniques until you find one which gets a strong response. I have had chick respond so strongly with these techniques that they have called me from their bedroom and tell me the husband is out of town for a while and the bed is so big with only one person in it! Other chicks have blown me off and told my friends I am a jerk.

A good, rounded personality is the base on which to build all the other techniques. A good personality powers all the other techniques. A good personality is not a technique. It can’t be learned overnight or on a weekend workshop, no matter how good the teacher is. A personality is built up over time from your experiences of seeing, doing, experiencing life and practising communicating your ideas with others. As I said earlier, I am no shrink, but I do know that a good personality is massively useful for building solid game.

When I was experiment for the last months with the busting and cocky funny game, overall I saw my game go down. True, individual cases of attraction would sometimes skyrocket but overall my success went down. The reason was I was sacrificing my usual personality to try to use these techniques in my game. I remember being in Poland in the autumn and some of the guys there said they’d never seen anyone build attraction so rapidly with so many girls. I was in a bar and was using non-verbal and cocky funny techniques. I had learned to use them to build attraction but found I’d been forced to drop away most of my personality-based game to incorporate the cocky funny game. Not everyone will have this problem I am sure, but I have seen some reports from other guys who have encountered this sticking point too.

Whether or not you manage to incorporate a new “outside” technique into your game, there generally comes a time when you have to show the girl something beyond your flirty or busting techniques. Say you get her wondering who you are and seeing your potential as a man in her life, there comes a time when you have to actually talk to her and show something beyond your cocky exterior. There comes a time when you need to show substance. You need to show congruent personality unless she is just looking for a one night stand or you are going for fool’s mate.

This is the answer to all those guys who say “what do I do after I have used such and such a technique?” The answer is show personality. Show her you are the real deal and that you can back up the cocky exterior with substance. Conveying personality is something I want to thank Mystery for pointing out and defining for me. It’s something I have been working on for years now and I really do think it is the key that powers all these other techniques. If all you have is a series of routines then eventually you can come across as hollow. Style wrote recently about being a social robot. I wrote about Gaming Too Hard. Routines are good as long as they are congruent with who you are, just as cocky funny is great if used appropriately. There comes a time though when you have got the girl interested and she wants to know you better. Are you going to run routines on her for the next six months? Are you going to bust her continuously for the rest of your relationship? These techniques are the seasoning on your main dish. The main course has to be something involving a powerful, fun, charismatic personality. If you have a good personality, you don’t have to think of routine after routine. If you have a good personality you don’t have to think of the next “technique”. Unless you have a good personality, then when you run out of routines (which will happen unless you have personality) she’ll see there is not a lot to keep her hanging around in the long term.

Getting girls to open up to you comes, in my experience, from having a truly engaging personality. The person with the most engaging personality I have ever met is my friend Natural Mike. He is charismatic, engaging, fun, playful and a lot of other things. Girls love him. He has had sex with about 60 girls and always has a new girl on the go every week. He has not studied ASF or any online techniques. He doesn’t even know how good he is, I think. Why is he so successful in attracting girls and getting them to open up to him?

It is his personality. Sure, I have seen him spontaneously using some of the techniques we have had to study, but they are the icing on his cake. He is passionate, takes no bullshit, is expressive, communicates emotions and is still strong and adventurous. He has no need to think of what to say next to someone. He doesn’t have to think about how to structure his next technique and link it into the next one. He does this all naturally through his personality. He is spontaneous in his communication and almost everyone he talks to is drawn to him. Girls open up to him because his is a genuinely fascinating, interesting, fun, non-needy guy. There are good PUAs out there who can get girls interested through rehearsed material. That is fine for some situations. The advantage with having a great and powerful natural personality though, is you can be totally flexible to come up with new unrehearsed responses based on what the target is offering you in the moment.

If you have a wealth of ideas and a really broad range of experiences to draw from, then you will be more able to tailor your responses to the girl in a way which she finds very engaging. The best sarges I have had are the ones when I have been able to enter the girl’s world and lead her into my world. Natural Mike can do that because he has a powerful frame and he has life experience on which to draw. He has travelled and lived in other countries, for example. He is not sitting behind a screen all day. He is out in the real world having conversations with people. He reads books, newspapers, and is a good conversationalist. When a girl responds in her way to something he has said to her, he is able to personalise his follow up to her instantly and congruently because of his rounded personality. That means any response she gives can be accepted and used to draw her in and lead her into his world. He hears her response and immediately his experience of interacting with thousands of people provides his unconscious mind with something to offer back which will captivate her and delight her. What he offers back could be playful busting, it could be a story, it could be a question that really makes her think. It could be a whole lot of things, but whatever it is, it engages her.

I found that when I was concentrating on running routine after routine, I was focusing too much on the material and not the person. I know I am not the only person in the game who has been guilty of ding this. I even know consciously not to do this. I’ve known it for years, but still I found myself doing it and trying to figure out what I was doing wrong. I wrote about this in Gaming Too Hard, comparing it to being lost in a maze, knowing you are in the maze and looking for the exit.

I was studying some of Ross’s materials again. I find myself returning to them time and again. I think they have so much to teach. Too many people seem to focus only on the SS patterns and don’t fully appreciate the great insights offered on a wider level into social interactions, frames, calibration, states, and rapport. One of the things he points out is that if you view people as a task you have to carry out then you’ll break all rapport with them and they’ll resent you for it. That is what was happening to some extent when I was focussing on structuring the next technique and the next routine. If you lose track of the person in front of you and, instead, are more interested in perfecting or getting your latest technique tested out you risk pissing them off. I’ve found the person will realise something is not right with your communication in such a situation. They know that people don’t usually talk to them in that way and some kind of defence gets triggered in them.

Remember to focus on the interaction, on the person and not too much on your technique. I think the way to work this is to practise and rehearse out loud in private before you use the technique in the field. If you learn to use the technique before you go out then when you are actually out in the field, you don’t have to think about getting the technique out properly consciously. That frees up your mind to calibrate and focus on the interaction and the other person instead of having to concentrate on your technique.

Having a technique fully integrated is in some way like adding to your personality. What is, after all, a personality? Surely part of this is it is who you are. If you are expressing personality then you don’t have to try to be someone or something you are not. If you integrate a technique into who you are, if you can bring forth a good expression of who you are, whether it is from a consciously or unconsciously learned ability then surely you are at some level conveying your real self, your real personality because it is just expressing the person you have become. Mr Square, by definition, doesn’t have a rounded personality.

Looking back on my most successful sarges, the ones that were the most solid, I see now that they tend to be the ones where I came to the interaction without a “sleazy” motive. By that I mean I was focusing on interacting with the person as a real person and not going in with the expressed aim of picking her up, even if that was what my outcome might have been. When I go in from the frame of just conveying personality and showing qualities I have learned that people appreciate, the result is far better. I have little or no hesitation going in when I go in with this frame of mind. Why?

It’s because it is a truly genuine interest I have in getting to know the person. Even though I might be interested in banging the shit out of her, I really put that on hold and primarily just enjoy the interaction on a person to person level. When you come to people from that frame there is no whining little voice in your head saying “you can’t go in”, there is no feeling of self-restraint, because you are going in from a friendly, genuine, and powerful way. You are the coiled power waiting to unleash itself at the right moment, and the right moment is when she is seeing your value while enjoying your personality.

This is something I have been doing recently and it works really well for me. I call it my “Us Versus Them” technique because it allies me and the target against an outside force. It allows me to create a shared reality and feeling of rapport. I create or look for situations where I can get me and the target on the same side against something or someone else.
 
Some examples of how I’ve used this in the field.

At the supermarket the other day there was a girl standing by the refrigerator, I opened by asking about the translation of a word into English. The girl (an American) said she wasn’t sure about what the word meant, but that she had a cheat sheet (a list of words for quick reference).
 
Stevie: “A cheat sheet? Are we allowed to use a cheat sheet? Isn’t that cheating? What happens if the teacher sees us? Well, I think we are ok, I don’t think the teacher is watching us, ok show me the cheat sheet”

Here was a role play of me and the target against the teacher. It implied we were two school children and was playful. When I gave her permission to show me the cheat sheet I used playful non-verbal body language implying for her to secretly show me the sheet while the teacher was not looking.

While in a bar there was a religious procession going past outside and I had to wait to leave the bar. There was a two set outside waiting to leave the bar as well. When the procession had passed I opened them and set up and “Us Versus Them” scenario using the religious people as the focus. I said “Have they gone? I was getting such dirty looks … they were all looking at me like they were thinking “Look at that drunken bum” I am such a sinner … we are going to hell.” They joined in and said “yeah we are going too!”.  

So, in this case it was me  and the targets against the religious people around us. We had a shared experience of being drinking and partying while there were people around us who disapproved of us (the religious procession people). By highlighting and describing the difference to the targets (and this was something they had noticed themselves I bet) I was able to build rapport with them. We  were all sinners and going to hell together for partying in the middle of a religious experience. It was all light and playful.

I see two main ways of doing this. One is to create a fantasy experience, as in the ‘teacher watching us’ example. The other is to use an actual experience that is happening or has happened and to highlight it to the targets. Make sure you are showing that you are on the side as the target and there is someone or something against us. Make sure you are implying you are all complicit in the experience together, and if you can make it light and playful then so much the better.

I am sure it can be used in more intimate situations such as in isolation with the chick and you are telling stories about how you came up against such and such an adversity (make it seem like the adversary was really acting unreasonably to you). The target will naturally take your side and support you in the position you took. Then you can ask what she would have done in the same situation. This will ratify her feelings for your shared opinions and make them more real. You’ll then be operating from a “Us Verus Them” scenario.

Here are some thoughts on possible “Us Versus Them” scenarios.

You are at a bar getting a drink. You tell the chick nearby that you really shouldn’t be drinking this because you are supposed to be on a diet and you heard Weight Watcher Spies are in the area. Suggest she keeps a look out for any overweight people who are talking into their lapels.
 
You are at the supermarket holding some food product, trying to decide whether to buy it or not. Run the Weight Watcher Spies routine as above.

You are in a book shop. You tell the chick nearby that you can’t decide whether to buy this latest Stephen King book because if you do, you just know you won’t look at the exam books you are supposed to be studying. And you heard that your university lecturer shops here! If he comes in at the moment when you are checking out the Stephen King book, will she promise to cover for you and pretend it is her book? Do a practice of sneaking the book into her hand without the ‘lecturer’ seeing you.
 
Oh, and make sure to trigger good shared emotions whenever possible.

“Just because you know all this PUA theory doesn’t mean she does”

More learnings direct from the field.

This concerns the opening parts of the sarge – the part when you are establishing yourself with the target or targets. I have seen the need time and again for a sense of light rapport right from the start. This applies to all forms of the game as I play it with the exception of cave-manning, which I think runs on a much different, more directly sexual level.

Let’s begin with some observations and then look at what they might mean and how they might be used.

I posted a month or six weeks ago “Group Theory Nuances”. In that post I noted how trying to control the interaction from a very strong frame can trigger some kind of unconscious defences in the target. I described taking over a set and controlling everything, really trying to move people into useful states really fast. The chicks in the group knew something was going on. I didn’t do anything obviously offensive to them and I wasn’t hitting on anyone but they knew SOMETHING was going on. It was smooth, it was fluid. If anything, it was too smooth and too polished. It just wasn’t something they’d experienced ever before, I believe.
 
I’ve been out quite a lot since then and have seen this situation come up a few times more and I think I know what is going on now and how to solve it.

This is a form of over-qualifying. I was reading posts by Style, Badboy, and Sickboy007 recently about being too much concerned with the game at a micro-level. Thanks to those guys for helping me shape my thoughts here and for getting me to the point where I can see what is happening and how to get over it.

Here is what has been happening. Because I think about the game all the time, I have got to the point where with almost every chick I see, I assume on some level that she is being hit on all the time and has a potential shield up. I’ve been seeing the need to bust the hell out of chicks who are low level chicks. I’ve been in this crazy world view (knowing it’s ridiculous but still sticking to it on some level!) that because I know all these PUA techniques, that the target knows them too! I am assuming that just because she is a chick, she is wise to all my techniques.

To get over this imagined problem, I up my game and run even higher level material. This leads to over-qualifying myself even more than before. I start running the most advanced shit that would probably be good on a SHB 10, but on these common or garden varieties of chick (who still might be HBs) this over-gaming comes across as unnatural because guys don’t act this way around her.

This is crazy shit, I know. It’s easy to laugh about it now that I can see the structure of it, but when you are in the middle of a SP it is like being in the middle of a maze. You know you’re lost, you know you are on your way to finding your way out, but still you have to think about things and look for clues to finding your position and how to get to the exit.

From the chick’s point of view, she is meeting a guy who is incredibly confident and talkative and persuasive. Everything he says she accepts as being valid (because I am being so vague), I am engaging her emotionally through the themes I am bringing up and I am differentiating myself from the AFC crowd through my verbal and non-verbal. Sounds all good, doesn’t it? But there is something still missing.

You can do all those things successfully with some chicks; these are usually the easily dominated or low self-esteem ones. They allow themselves to be controlled and influenced by that kind of powerful person. But for a lot of other chicks, this kind of super powerful impact is simply TOO MUCH. They start thinking “who is this guy? I don’t even know him and he is speaking to me like he is my most powerful influence and knows what is best for me.” It comes from leading too strongly, too early. If some of these girls were to be asked privately “what do you think of that guy?” I bet she’d say he was too intense and talkative and confident. It is too much, too soon.

Most girls, in the right context love a confident, powerful guy who can trigger emotions. So where is the conflict? What is it that is triggering some level of defence in her? It is the stage at which you are seeking to lead her.

The solution came to me while I was reviewing an interaction I had with a chick today. I had made a big impact opening on her after being introduced to her by a mutual acquaintance. The chick was responding non-verbally with that message I’ve come to recognise as “this guy is too much, too soon.” I think that a mega-high impact can work on some chicks who are in an emotionally charged state already, such as at a club because they are already receptive and looking for fast emotional fun and impacts. But in a more normal (non-club?) situation, a different way of doing this is needed.
 
What is needed is to go in low-key when you are getting an introduction from within her social circle. Once you have been accepted by her as someone who is non-threatening, she will open up and chat to you on a socially programmed/auto-pilot level. This sets her up to be led and gamed in a more high impact way. Once she is operating with you in a low-key or socially programmed way she has no reason to put up her defences. Your conversation is like thousands she has experienced before, so she relaxes. She is also reassured that you are not after anything from her other than a robotic AFC interaction. She is committing herself to continuing the interaction with you because she is replying to your normal-guy way of speaking. This is gaining a light rapport and going very low below the radar.

Once she is interacting with you like this, she might even work to keep the conversation going because she doesn’t know you have any definite social skills. This gets her contributing to the conversation and having some stake in it. Once you are in like this and she is relaxing with you, and you can start to lead her. Just make sure you keep her involved in the conversation enough for her to take an interest in what you’re saying. My mistake with a lot of these sets was I was leading too early and not pacing them first.

Here is an example of today’s sarge, followed by how it should have been done to avoid triggering her defences.

Too Much, Too Fast
 
“I met you at the cinema a couple of weeks ago, do you remember I thought you were John’s sister? We were talking for a little while and I was telling you about the film, and it was a really great film. You’ve got to see this one, it was called The Station Agent and it’s about this guy was is a dwarf and he moves to a new place and how some people accept him but others call him “Mini-Me” and laugh at him. I mean, can you imagine being so short. It’s something most people never think about and we never imagine what it would be really like to be like that. It’s only when we go to see a film like that that we get a glimpse of what it would be like to live a life like that. I really felt grateful for being healthy after seeing that film, we don’t really appreciate how lucky we are to have the lives we live unless something happens that makes us think about how lucky we really are….”

Here I was moving to deep themes about our lives and how we rarely meta-comment on the state of our own lives. This was all done in a minute and was fast, energetic and high-impact. It would be an interesting topic to someone who had some rapport with me (another person in the group was following along with this just fine – he has been conditioned to me), but for someone who didn’t really know I was, it was too much, too fast. I could see her thinking “fuck, who is this guy and why is he talking so intensely.” I saw her computing this from her non-verbal (I can read non-verbal states really fucking closely most of the time). I knew she was putting up some unspoken objection in her mind even as I was speaking. That caused me to try to raise my game even higher to save the sarge, and of course this just made things worse. I should have eased off and changed the subject to something less strong.
Easing In
 
This is the way I should have done the same sarge and this is the way I will be doing things in future sarges most of the time. I should have eased my way in right down low under the radar. I need to ask some fake-AFC (AKA ‘normal’) type questions or playful busting first and not worry about her shutting me down for not being Mr Powerful immediately.

“Hi, I think I remember you from the cinema a couple of weeks ago. Do you remember I met you while I was out with John? Did you have a good night? Yeah we went to see this film called The Station Agent, do you know it? I thought it was really good. There’s no one really famous in it, but still it was really well done and it was sometimes funny and sometimes sad. It’s about a little guy, a dwarf, who moves to a new place and how some people accept him and others don’t. By the way, I was talking to John earlier about our favourite actors. Who would you say your favourite actors are? And have you thought about the qualities you like in that actor? Yeah, those are good qualities, I like him too, he has made some great movies. I think people enjoy their favourite actors for so many reasons – how they look, the characters they play, the way they bring a character to life … and it’s the same in real life, when you meet someone you really like you also notice certain qualities that you like about this person … like how they might make you think, the expression on their face (self-point)…”

The second way is more laid-back and gets the target committed to the interaction in the early stages. Once she is feeling some light rapport and comfort with you in a light way (I call it light rapport) you can go into stronger leading and she is very likely to follow along with you because you have eased her into it and haven’t jarred her reality.

Having light rapport can also be combined with busting. I use a combination of light rapport and busting all the time. In fact I find that there is an implied or actual amount of light rapport present in the best busting and most enjoyable exchanges between me and the chick. Having light rapport can come before, and exist during, attraction based busting game.

I was out tonight and trying to implement my new structure of routines. I wrote about this a couple of days ago in my “Structuring Routines” post. I’ve been opening a lot of sets the last few days, just me out on my own lone wolf. I picked up a Polish girl yesterday afternoon called Yolanta. She’s a student from Poland who is in Spain for 2 weeks.

Tonight was just a short practice session. My middle game and rapport skills are strong, sometimes really fucking strong. My NEOs are solid and I can pull them off in a lot of situations. I need to practice opinion openers and be more aggressive in bridging for numbers and follow up meetings. It’s funny but I am more comfortable physically closing for kisses than setting up follow up meetings. I know the reason for this too. It comes from the party scene I have been brought up in back home in England. Every night people go out in Newcastle, there are a lot of party chicks who are open to physical closes. It’s second nature to me, but doing the number bridges is something I have had to train more strongly in, it is not as “natural” to me as going in physically when I get IOIs.

When I go to a new country like Australia, Spain or Germany where people don’t get so physical so fast you need to have that ability to go for day two set ups and numbers more. Also I have learned that a fast make out can be fun but can lead to flaking afterwards because there was no real connection beyond the physical attraction.

I had the Swedish barmaids all playing along with me and smiling. One suggested “intercambio” (exchange where two people meet ostensibly to learn a language from each other) with me where I speak Swedish to her and she learns English with me. This is AKA Let’s Go For A Drink And I’ll Sarge The Shit Out Of You (LGFADAISTSOOY).

There was a religious procession going on outside the bar as I was trying to leave and this generated a ton of NEOs for me about me and the chicks going to hell for being such heathens drinking in a bar while the Spanish Inquisition is in town. It was good stuff and I MP3ed it. (Hey I just invented a new verb!). I don’t know if people are interested in this kind of non-spectacular sarge audio for educational purposes, but in the meantime I’ll just post audio that I think is more valuable.

I ran Bowie for the practice on a girl/boy set next to me and got them registered. Katie is from New York. Chatting to people like this gets you talkative and let’s the others around you see you are a sociable person and are ok to talk with. I even ran into one of the chicks from the Tough Set I posted about – the one where they busted on me for being too far turned away from them. This chick was not with her usual crowd and remembered me. I tried to engage her but she moved off. I’ll write her off for the time being as an unfriendly type. Maybe she’s just shy or reserved.

With two American chicks outside the bar I immediately opened them with my NEO on the religious procession. I ran an “Our World” type scenario where we were all sinners and going to hell for drinking during the solemn religious procession. I got them high fiving me and the vibe was excellent. I should have said “Let’s be totally bad tonight and go get completely wasted”. This kind of playful close has worked for me a lot and I am just recognising the structure of it now. It works because they are playing along with the role I have established for them. They are getting great emotions from the Our World routine and the commonality of the shared experience. I find that a very forward but non-hitting attitude works well. It’s outrageous I know, but it’s powerful and works for me. I must remember to use it more often whenever the situation calls for it.

When it comes to getting numbers and day twos, I find I am often more successful when I go for them in a cocky and playful way. I find that when going for them in the way most guys go for them (slightly seriously even if they are not supplicating) for example “Why don’t we meet for coffee”, I can come across as incongruent. This is because I am often being a bit outrageous and then if I switch to suggesting a follow up meeting in a serious way it can seem slightly too formal.

If I ask seriously about getting together it can bring the chick’s logical mind into play and we don’t want that. We want to keep things emotional and fun so they follow right along with their good emotions around us. I will theorise later as to why it can be a very good technique to inject a short burst of playful or outrageous attraction material just before going for the bridge or close.

This is something I am recognising as having worked a lot for me in the past and I want to write about it here to share it and to remind myself of the structure I am beginning to notice. That will perhaps help other people when they are bridging for day twos/numbers and also help me to keep the structure in my mind more often.

Cock And Playful Bridging

As I said, the advantage of this is you don’t trigger the logical mind. The best way to do this is to go for it in the order of priority

                        1. One Night Stands

                        2. Venue Changes

                        3  Day Two Meetings

                        4. Numbers

                        5. Email

If possible have the chick go with you somewhere right there and then. If she has time to think about it later, after you have gone home with her number or a meeting arranged you have to face the increased likelihood to flaking because her logical mind will have become more engaged. But sometimes the day twos and the numbers are all that seem possible so we have to go with them rather than nothing.
 
I’ve found that making light of the bridging i.e. doing it in a C&P way helps relieve the seriousness of her having to agree to meet you. If you go for the bridge in a C&P way then it allows her to continue in the emotional roleplay you have both been engaged in.

When I run C&P I often set up a roleplay where we are not really ourselves and we have this playful exchange with each other. Even the sight of each other after a few days have gone by can restart that roleplay scenario. All it takes is a mention of the previous roleplay. Like with the barmaid tonight she mentioned something about her “genes” and I deliberately misinterpreted it as being “jeans” and busted her on her jeans. Next time I see her I’ll bring up her jeans and we’ll be right into that playful frame of interacting.
 
So when you are going for a bridge it can be very useful to do it as part of a C&P frame. The most useful time to do this is when you haven’t had time to run tight rapport building due to time factors or perhaps she is moving off soon and you need to go for the bridge rather than risk probably never see her again. In these cases a good thing to do is to bust and then go for the bridge as a follow up/part of the C&P exchange. I believe it may also be good to throw in a jot of playfulness just before bridging so she is not thinking logically when she is deciding whether to agree or not.

This, then, is the structure of Attraction – Trust/Comfort – quick attraction material and THEN Bridge.
 
Look at why this is a probable very good structure and deserves full testing (which I will do. I have seen this work in the field for me but have not tested it explicitly as part of this frame)
Attraction to get you in – DHV. This hooks her long enough for you to use:

Comfort material to build rapport and connection.

A quick burst of attraction material (nothing heavy, just enough to get her emotional mind sparked up – it could be a 10 seconds to 30 seconds of playful interacting)

Bridging for venue change/number etc.
 

The reason for a quick burst of attraction material just before you go for the close or bridge is if she is emotionally aroused on top of feeling comfort with you then you are more likely to get her going with your suggested bridge. She will not be judging your suggestion logically and will be unlikely to resist because she is already feeling comfort.

We know that attraction isn’t a choice (as David De Angelo teaches) and that a girl’s body and logical mind can betray her when she is aroused. If she is only aroused she can flake due to logical processing coming into play. I see potential in this technique for one night stands. If you suggest taking her back to an after party just after you have spiked her buying temperature with a little attraction material and have previously built comfort then you are shutting down a lot of that logical processing.

“Enter the Stevie”

by Xeno

He can be cool, witty, or classy at any time. Ranking up to the top of the PUA foodchain, SteviePUA has his own insights and explains his game FULL THROTTLE, no holds barred edition style. He lays it all out on the table and doesn’t take any prisoners along with him. In this interview, you will find out about his thorough breakdown of his ultimate game, his recent “Special Guest” appearance at the TD & Papa workshop in London, being contacted for ASF release into mainstream hands, his systematic approach to Kino calibration, his possible private release of pick up footage, meeting his idol Mystery, rapport specifics & techniques, and much much more included in this long in-depth interview with SteviePUA.

Xeno: What is your full name?
SteviePUA: Steve. I need to keep my full identity private due to my job. That is why I also blank out my photos.

Xeno: What is your age?
SteviePUA: 29

Xeno: Where do you currently reside?
SteviePUA: Newcastle, England

Xeno: How is the PUA scene over there where you live?
SteviePUA: It is not advanced. Most of it is caveman style. I find someone with even an average amount of real game skill can do well because HB’s are not used to it. It is mostly a party city. Lots of drinking, good time girls.

Xeno: Have you made the trip to the states yet?
SteviePUA: Yes. I have family in Pennsylvania. I have also been to Arizona, Florida, South Carolina, Virginia, Maryland, and New Jersey.

Xeno: Formhandle recently just held the 2003 Boston PUA Convention a few weeks ago. Would you like to see more in the future?
SteviePUA: Sure, why not. Anything that brings people together and helps promote learning and friendship and a sense of community.

Xeno: Would you think you would be able to make it if there was another similar event held?
SteviePUA: I’d love to meet up with people in the States. I will travel there before too long. Whether I get to a future conference like that is more a matter of being free from work than the will to go. I’d love to meet up with guys in the states. American girls seem to like me anyway, I don’t know why .

Xeno: How is life going for you at the moment?
SteviePUA: It is going well. I am happy with my progress over the last few years. I am not as good as I want to be(I think only a few people are) and I am continuing to push myself to improve. Outside of PU, my state is really good and has been for a couple of years. I find even when not thinking consciously about PU, the training you do rubs off into other areas of your life. If you learn to control your state and thoughts about HB’s, you can take that control and transfer it to other areas of life. And yet, even when I’m not thinking about PU, on some level I am always thinking about it. I can’t switch it off completely.

Xeno: What would you like to do as your career?
SteviePUA: I am happy in the one I am in for now. That is the realistic answer. If you want a fantasy, I’d be the next Dirk Diggler or Tom Cruise (I think I am a pretty good actor by all accounts- my intent never leaks out!) or a treasure diver.

Xeno: What kind of music do you like to enjoy to listen, any specific bands? Any specific songs?
SteviePUA: I like the Smiths, Dylan, Pulp, Joy Division, New Order, The Fall, Oasis, Blur, Elastica, Police, Sex Pistol, REM…it is a long list. A lot of it is either 80s/Britpop/or 60s stuff with strong lyrics. I like music which has some meaning in the words. Something that stimulates my mind and gets me thinking about life.

Xeno: How long have you been in the game?
SteviePUA: Since I was 14.

Xeno: Since you have been in the game for all those years, how have you seen the “game” in general progress? Has it gotten harder? Easier?
SteviePUA: When I was 14, there was no theory to worry about. In that sense it was easy, you just made a request and chicks went along with it because they were 14 too and had few bitch shields. As you get older, the girls get more sophisticated. They learn to play the game, usually they learn faster than the guys do. The guys are busy watching football matches and fighting while the girls are talking all the time about relationships. The HB’s generally get a head start. So I spent a few years playing catch up and learning some basics. I was always good intuitively, but I had to learn the specific skills and ways of thinking. Overall, it got harder in the early 20s for me but easier once I started training for real. Not so much the age I think, more just the stage at which I started training for real.

Xeno: Were there any negatives through your whole PUA experience so far?
SteviePUA: If you count getting “rejected” in the early days before I had good state control, then that was pretty much as bad as it got. But I soon learned that rejection is a good thing. It shows you are taking EXACTLY the right kind of action that is necessary for growth and real life learning. I mean I never got beaten up by any husbands! Though Deborah the Dancer’s ex man came around one night while I was in her house and I shit myself for a few minutes.

Xeno: How has the PUA lifestyle changed you as a whole? Were you ever a dork before?
SteviePUA: No, I was never a dork. I was pretty quiet at times. I am a lot more rounded as a person now. I am much more talkative, outgoing, confident. I feel much centered now and happier too.

Xeno: What got you interested into alt.seduction.fast anyway? Were there goals you wanted to achieve? Was it just a hobby you wanted to take part of?
SteviePUA: I got into ASF through Ross’s materials. He started ASF. I wanted consistency. I could do well sometimes, yet it wasn’t always repeatable. Also, I knew I needed to work on the inner game. I was giving the HB’s too much power that they didn’t deserve. I needed to have better state management. It was more than a hobby. More like a way of life. Like I said before, I can’t switch off the PU thinking. It runs 24/7. It is all I think about on a primitive level. I am always the lead actor in my own script. I always seem to see myself from a camera up above…I can distance myself from the event and watch it play out like in a movie. I think I need an audience.

Xeno: When you first entered the seduction world, what was your first reaction to it? Did you think this seduction material was all crap at first?
SteviePUA: No, not at all. I thought there was a gold mine of good material. I remember finding Maniac’s site in 2000 and it blowing my mind. I knew I’d come home.

Xeno: Do you believe in Ross Jeffries and his Speed Seduction material to be helpful when used by itself? It seems that it is advocated in TFM?
SteviePUA: I definitely believe it is useful in a number of ways. The mindset is one you can take to just about any other method- not supplicating, being a challenge, engaging her, making her work for it. That is a mentality you can use in your favor all the time. When I use SS, I use it in a way that I know works for me. You have to know how to use it so it sounds natural. I have met people who just don’t know how to use it. It is a skill you really need to spend some time working at in order to learn it well. I talked with MarqueOne in Newcastle and he thought SS sounded false…until he heard me using it. Then he said he thought it sounded really natural. I use it in a way that fits my personality. I think that it is vital. If you parrot words and don’t make it fit the situation, it can sound robotic or too heavy. And we need to differentiate SS patterning and SS. SS is bigger than patterning. That is just a subskill. I often use it to build light interest in the “selling myself” stage and then again more heavily once I have got IOI’s from her and know she is ready for some heavy seducing.

Xeno: What kind of method and tactics and techniques do you use to incorporate into your game?
SteviePUA: I use SS, MM, C&F, Tyler’s material, sexual evolution theory, Ericksonian hypnosis, NLP, Bandler, set theory, anchoring, patterning, teasing, busting, phase shifting, conveying personality, etc. I could go on. This list is not exhaustive. Magic too, mind reading, cold reading, and palmistry.

Xeno: What target HB group are you sarging? Early 20s, 7-8s?
SteviePUA: 20s/30s. 7s-9s. I rarely see a 10 where I live and of those, I am getting 7s to 8.5s. I want to be getting 9s. That is my goal. Told you I want to get better.

Xeno: What condom do you recommend for the PUA’s?
SteviePUA: I have been using Durex Elite. I think it’s pretty good.

Xeno: Now in your whole lifetime, what would be a rough estimate to the number of girls you have laid?
SteviePUA: Fucked about 25 only. Been sexual(oral, fingers, etc.) with perhaps 40. Kissed hundreds.

Xeno: In your mind, who is your perfect 10?
SteviePUA: I don’t know if I have one. I see some chicks who are stunning to look at, but don’t have the personality to match. For me she has to have the face, body, and personality. She has to be an interesting and interested person.

Xeno: I have heard that you are working on your attraction game. How is that going at the moment? Have you mastered it or are you still compiling it?
SteviePUA: I am getting quite good at it. I am using C&F, busting, teasing, Push/Pull. They are working well. I am experimenting TD’s formula of going for attraction first and then using my rapport skills. I find it works well for me like that.

Xeno: What kind of state builders do you use? Do you push the girl into a lot of different states or do you let the conversation proceed naturally?
SteviePUA: No, I lead. I definitely don’t let it proceed naturally, whatever that means. Naturally for who? There is “naturally” for different people. I have an agenda when I sarge. I firstly want to meet people. I want to entertain them. To have a conversation. I want to see if they are worthy of more. If they are hot, I want to test if they have more going for them. If they show IOI’s, I want to see how far I can push them and so on. I don’t let it happen naturally in that sense. I am working within a series of frames, always testing and judging if, and when, they are ready to move on. And deciding when and how they should be moved forward if they are worthy. So no, it doesn’t happen “naturally”. They might THINK it feels natural to them. But to me, I am moving them according to my agenda. And that doesn’t have to be a bad thing either. I am never going to push someone into something they don’t want to do. I am totally respectful of a firm decision based on considered opinion. But I will initially take the lead and watch to see if they are ready to follow my lead, or if they need to be handled differently.

Xeno: Do you think NLP is essential? Would it only serve as a supplement to someone’s game?
SteviePUA: NLP uses techniques that some people have been using for ages anyway. It just quantifies them and makes them more explicit and easier to model and learn. It is not essential to PU in itself, but many of the skills it teaches are very useful at times. It is definitely worth studying if you want to learn to communicate to people in a more effective way.

Xeno: What kind of attitude do you impose when you sarge? A “I don’t give a fuck about anything” attitude?
SteviePUA: No. I am entertaining and looking for rapport from the start. I always go for differentiating myself and getting inside how the person thinks. I am always looking for an inroad into their experience. I might initally combine rapport building with busting(they are NOT mutally exclusive). In a sense, internally, I think “I don’t care if she digs me or not”, as there are millions of chicks. But in another sense, I am respectufl and treat her as a person. Yet in a way, that says to her that I am not going to be around. She know, or should know if I sell myself well, that here is a guy who has value, yet who is not needy and who can meet others, who will in turn sense his value.

Xeno: What kind of strategies do you use when you are in rapport? Do you use any specific order or techniques to gauge her interest even further?
SteviePUA: I try to get a hook into her experience. In rapport, I mirror. Remember mirroring is a sign you are ALREADY in rapport, not a magical technique to create rapport from nothing. I use my words to entertain. I often circle through themes, all the while looking for non-verbal IOI’s from her. And when I get one, I run with it. I take what she offers in terms of themes and trancewords and amp them up, repeating them in a similar, yet non-obvious way, so as to bring them to life in connection to me. They become anchored to being with me. I sometimes use mindreading in rapport phase to heighten the experience that we are connected. I could go on and on in this area but time is limited and SO much to me is instinctive.

Xeno: For your game, what kind of body language do you emphasize on?
SteviePUA: I can’t easily describe body language, yet it is a MAJOR, MAJOR part of why I often do well. It comes largely from my facial expressions which are either very congruent with my verbal communication(so my agenda does not seep out) or are AMBIGUOUS- the target does not know if I am serious/joking/interested/uninterested. I have had a TON of chicks say they don’t know if I am joking with them sometimes. I can control that ambiguous communication so it serves me, i.e. I can, in the right circumstances, make suggestions which are sexually/romantically ambiguous. This allows one to seed ideas in her mind and she doesn’t know for sure if she is thinking of them herself spontaneously or if you are putting them there deliberately. This creates states of wonder and intrigue and allows you to influence in a covert, yet very powerful way.

Xeno: Do you show your sexual state/sexuality in a confident way right off the bat, something like Gunwitch does? Do you just take things smoothly & slowly?
SteviePUA: I do show a state that is confident. I think that is very important for most sarges. Yet, I think I don’t often do a sarge that is really blatently caveman. I can do that if I want(I like to be able to do different styles to suit the occasion). And again, I don’t take it slowly either. I fuck with their minds in a way that on some level communicates that I am sexual and have value, yet in away that for them is hard to define exactly what I am signaling. The advantage of that is they credit themselves with these feelings that, actually, might have been suggested to them by me. And because I know those feelings are sneaking in there and that the chick isn’t thinking “he is doing that deliberately”, it allows me to go under the radar and bypass resistance before they can compute it consciously. I typically go for making a non-sexual/ambiguous impact and one I have that inroad, use it for leverage into something bigger.

Xeno: Do you agree with Gunwitch’s material? How have you used it in your sarges?
SteviePUA: I read Gunwitch’s material and saw how it could be useful to guys who are learning the game. I knew much of what he was talking about anyway. I used what he talked about anyway from time to time, though for me, the thrill of the chase and getting inside her mind is what it is all about. The banging is amazing too, but it is conquering her and having her admit she wants me- that is the real thrill.

Xeno: How do you apply KINO progression subtely so you don’t come off as creeping her out at first? Is there a specific order you implement or just go naturally?
SteviePUA: Yes, there is a system. Start very light. And I only start it when I am established with the chick. Once she sees you are an ok guy and that you have something to offer(ideally when you have got IOI’s) then I begin kino. It can happen with seconds if she gives a response that is very positive early on. Other times, it might take 5 to 10 minutes to get past the bitch shield or shit tests. I will rarely spend much longer than that on a chick if she is not responding. It’s just not worth the effort generally as there ARE lots of chicks who are interested in opening up early to you or who at least will give an opening which can be steadily built upon.

Xeno: What kind of character do you like to project for girls? A bad boy, classy, or something else?
SteviePUA:: Something intriguing. Not bad boy. Certainly a little class but mostly a little of something else. A certain je n’cest quai. I don’t know what. Excuse my poor French. In Swedish they say, “jag forsok att visa en lite jag vet inte” or so. I try to firstly stand out and capture their attention. I show something different and get them thinking actively about what I am saying. I try to create rapport. To learn within a minute how they respond to people in general. And I watch for positive responses I can repeat and amp up in my favor.

Xeno: What is your preference to sarge more, Groups or Lonewolfs?
SteviePUA: It is changing though I don’t want it to. I used to prefer to go myself and that is how I’d usally do it. Yet, the last 5 months or so, I have lacked the motivation to go out myself. It has been a sticking point that comes from having FB’s. I think to myself “I already have a few chicks who are into me and I have banges, so it doesn’t matter if I sarge new chicks. I get lethargic. That is something I want to change because I like sarging myself.

Xeno: Do you think it’s important to have a wing in your daily outings?
SteviePUA: No, not so important. You need to be able to be self-sufficient. A wing is a bonus. It can be useful once you go solo(lone wolf). But master the basics first. Become self reliant and then have a wing later. Otherwise, you can get to the point where you depend on your wing to go out with you or you can’t go out. That is the danger anyway.

Xeno: What kind of tactics do you use when you’re doing groups? Mystery Method Style or something of your own? You recently posted something on disarming the guys first in an advanced post?
SteviePUA: Oh generally I use MM, yes. I entertain them and go under the radar.

Xeno: Do you prefer to use canned material or just natural conversation flow?
SteviePUA: I have tried both. Overall, I think it is better if you can come up with material tailored to the situation or the person you are communicating with. Though, I can see value in using scripts if you can make them naturally congruent with your way of communicating.

Xeno: What do you do with AMOG’s who keep annoying you? Do you use a AMOG destroyer or simply ignore them?
SteviePUA: I try to either befriend them or blow them out. Tyler did some good tactics on blowing out AMOGs by offering the guy $100 for him to take the HBs off your hands(said in front of the HBs!).

Xeno: Do you think the term “alpha” should be taken seriously? Everyone is flaming each other and saying “oh that’s not alpha, that’s beta.” Should you just be yourself or should you be the most alpha as you can be?
SteviePUA: Look at the smaller picture a little and see what is necessary specifically to your game on a skillset level rather than talking in generalities about what is alpha. Keep it practical.

Xeno: Do you think with girls whom you have been “LJBF’ed” before, should you run game on them? Is it even worth it since you are already labeled by them as just a friend?
SteviePUA: My answer is no, I try to just meet someone new, now that I have the skill to do that.

Xeno: Do you think giving compliments to a girl is ideal once a while when you feel like it? Should it be just given when you think they deserve it or does it just seems supplicative?
SteviePUA: They should be given mostly in the rapport phase, when she has already seen your value. Then you don’t come across as someone trying to slimely ingratiate himself into her life with compliments. Once she has seen that you have value and is attracted, she will want to get to know who you are. As a reward, and as a reward especially for when she has done something to please you in rapport(comfort) phase, you can give a compliment. You can use C&F compliments in attract phase to build attraction, but these are not your classical attempts to get “in” with her. Then they are used in a playfully obvious way, e.g. “You are from Rome OMG, I LOVE you…I love people from Rome, you can be my new wife…but hang on, can you cook good Italian food?” These kind of compliments communicate a different meaning to your regular “I like your dress” compliments.

Xeno: Do you have any current LTR’s right now? What do you think the purpose of them are if you could just get any other girl at any time you liked?
SteviePUA: I can’t get any chick I want all the time. I wish I could. I am not that good. I am still learning and practicing. I have one serious FB, one occasional FB, and 2 others I am seeing(one who I have fucked).

Xeno: Do you think one should work on inner game first and then consume the material or the other way around?
SteviePUA: Simultaneously. Read, try out, post, learn, try out. It can happen in any order but it must all happen if you want to progress. I think it is important to have a higher percentage of infield time than online time. Maybe 80/20, 70/30, or 60/40 in favor of the real world, depending on the person and their stage of understanding.

Xeno: Where are some good places to sarge in your own preference?
SteviePUA: I like bars which have music but not really loud. I like places where you can move about and meet people…not those with static table bound crowds. Clubs can be good I admit, but my club game needs to be better. I do well on the street/trains too.

Xeno: Which do you prefer: nighttime PU or daytime street sarging?
SteviePUA: It depends on the location. I can do nighttime or daytime. Overall, maybe nighttime but I prefer pubs and bars to nightclubs simply because my club game is not as strong and in bars I can talk to people without shouting in their ear. In a bar, you can use more complex/intelligent game. I find in clubs that I have to shout so loud, that I can’t do the things I can usually do in a bar/pub. And the street or shops are ok daytime or nighttime. I was out in London with Papa and Sickboy and I did some good sets. They even videoed some of it in Papa’s Sony Clie. There was a really nice daytime 4 set in a clothes shop. I must ask Papa to send me a copy.

Xeno: Do you believe routines and props serve to be useful in sarges or are they just extra baggage?
SteviePUA: They can be very useful. You can lock chicks in. You can use tarot and hand writing analysis(see Orion’s Magical Connection Video for a good example of this). Props are useful for sure. It depends of course on the prop, the chick, the environment, and the stage of the sarge that you use them in. I don’t believe there is a magic bullet to solve all PU’s with though. Use sparingly and well in the right circumstances.

Xeno: Do you believe in peacocking to give you that “celebrity aura”? How does it help from your point of view? What kind of accessories and clothes do you wear?
SteviePUA: Yes, I think peacocking is helpful. I have a party shirt that I wear, it is flowery and it stands out. I bought a “magic jacket” recently with magical symbols on it which helps me open the theme of magic and give demos of mindreading. I have some stripper pants with zips up each leg. I have glitter for my hair(though only use it for clubs) and have necklaces, rings, and bracelets. A funny thing is both me and Spirit have independently chosen the same peacocking neclace! It was really fun when he saw my necklace and said “I have that one!” Peacocking helps you stand out, reflects your inner personality, makes people curious about you, and gives shy chicks an excuse to open you with a comment on what you are wearing. You can even lock chicks in by putting your hat on them and then going off to sarge other chicks as pawns before returning for your lock in prop.

Xeno: What is your most favorite aspect of the game and why? Whether it be attraction, rapport, sex itself, or conversing with other people. What is your take?
SteviePUA: The thrill of the chase. The seducing of them of having her into you. Using your skills to attract her both mentally and physically, to make her want me as much as I want her. That is what I love. In terms of what I’m good at: I am good at calibrating, rapport building, and physical closing once I sense IOI’s. And pretty respectful in the bedroom by all accounts. I love the sex too of course, especially with someone who I have fucked with before, then you know what you both want and how to pleasure each other. That is why recruiting FB’s is so rewarding.

Xeno: Who are your influences and inspirations, say your role models in the PUA world and real world?
SteviePUA: Well Mystery, TD, Papa, Sickboy. My mother, my dad(as a NEGATIVE influence in that I don’t want to become like him as he is so boring and AFC and just sits in front of the TV all week), my friend “Natural” Mike, probably the best PUA I have spent lots of time with(I hung with the other guys only for a few days). Teachers from school who inspired me, songs I like that energize me, my former boss in Hamburg. I COLLECT rolemodels. And I use the word MODEL explicitly here because I DO model them. I figure out what it is about their behavior or communication that I find useful and try to incorporate it and their way of thinking into my life. I should have mentioned Style as being an influence on me too earlier.

Xeno: Who is your biggest influence currently on your game right now?
SteviePUA: Now, Tyler. I still am influenced strongly with MM and SS. For SS, I think the mindset rocks- the non-supplicating, challenging, making her work for it. I rarely do canned patterns. What I do is a lot of on the fly story telling and building states after I’m in the rapport/comfort building/isolation stage.

Xeno: I heard you were recently a special guest in one of TD’s and Papa’s workshops. August 2nd? How was your experience in that?
SteviePUA: It was great. I’d met the guys 2 weeks before and hung out with them. They wanted me to teach on the workshop but I have to work at my job every other weekend or so. I hung out with them over a couple of days and it rocked. They are cool guys. TD is a good teacher and really knows his stuff.

Xeno: How is TD IRL? Is it an exaggeration that he is obsessed with the game?
SteviePUA: I think he is very much into the game, yes. In a good way. He wants to get good and to help others improve too. He is very focused. He was very civil and welcoming to me, he was good to be around. I have heard people call him, but he couldn’t have been nicer to me. We hit it off well and I like TD a lot. He has so much to offer.

Xeno: What is your opinion on seduction seminars and workshops such as those with Mystery and Tyler Durden & Papa Combo?
SteviePUA: I think they are a good idea on a few levels. The most important is that people get to see skilled guys in action. There are so many things you can’t convey in text form. You have to see the facial expressions, the body language, to hear delivery of lines, to sense the energy of the interaction, to notice the timing. A workshop teaches you that. Also, it allows you to ask personalized questions and get one-on-one help for any sticking points. And being around guys with the same interest is motivating and gives you a push, I find.

Xeno: If you were interested in participating in more of the workshops, would us mASF’ers be seeing you in many more workshops to come?
SteviePUA: For sure. I have been invited to the next TD & Papa workshop at the end of August in London, and I will go assuming I am free from work that weekend. I also loved hanging with Mystery at the MM workshop in London. The game is a passion of mine and I can think of a few things(beyond the obvious) more rewarding than hanging out with guys who share the same passion and learning and teaching together with them.

Xeno: How was Mystery anyway IRL? Is he really good in the game as many people have claimed or did he fall short of your expectations?
SteviePUA: He was great. I walked into the meeting place and BANG, there he was fully peacocked, sarging 2HB’s- who later kissed me goodbye based only on the premise that I knew Mystery.

Xeno: Are you currently developing any kind of method like a SteviePUA method? Have you figured out any new stuff that you would be sharing to the community?
SteviePUA: I have thought about writing a new long article about my recent learning but don’t know when it will be out. I tend to get inspired from other people and write about how I use their methods in my personal way. Yes, there are new things I can talk about. For example, using mind reading.

Xeno: Do you have any upcoming audio updates for your site?
SteviePUA: I plan to do some new recordings now that I have my new recorder. So, yes, watch out for some over the next few weeks. I am so busy in the summer with work you see…it is the busiest time of year for me.

Xeno: You mentioned once and asked people what they would think of PUA Videos. Do you think it would be beneficial at all? You wouldn’t get any feedback and plus its not IRL?
SteviePUA: You know, I think PUA videos would be great!!! They are able to show the nonverbal communication that is so hard to understand otherwise. I have seen guys doing sarges in the field who are great, yet they are doing stuff that is not easily quantifiable in a written form. I learned so much from watching “Natural” Mike- his voice tone, his gestures, his enthusiasm, and “devil may care” attitude.

Xeno: Do you plan on releasing videos of any of your PUA sarges anytime soon? Have you considered it?
SteviePUA: Yes, I have considered it. I worry a little about the privacy though. I have a job that is a little sensitive. Papa has videoed me in action in London and I am proud of the 4 set in the clothing shop in Camden Town that he videoed. I don’t think it is going to be a general release but I might consider posting it in the future if I can protect my own identity. There comes a point in this kind of work though where you start to cross over from public access work to work in selling things I find. It seems to happen naturally when you are in demand. And I have never set out to sell anything in PU. It was always about learning and helping others in return. Yet, I find when people appreciate you have something valuable, they are willing to pay a price to have it. I am not at that point yet. Frankly, I don’t think I am good enough. My theory side is good and my practical side is good SOMETIMES(as Papa and Sickboy will tell you- I showed them some interesting stuff while we were out in London together) but I really want to be good like Mystery. That, to me, is the benchmark. I might go videos in the future, but at the moment, I am not ready, though it would be a dream to make good money for sarging HBs. That is most of the guys’ fantasy job.

Xeno: What are your favorite movies PU related and real world?
SteviePUA: I like the magical connections video from Orion. I like Tom Cruise in Magnolia. Swingers was fun but remember it was only a movie. I enjoyed Dangerous Liasons, Naked, Terminator 3, Catch Me If You Can, the Eastwood Spaghetti Westerns, Indiana Jones, Cyrano de Bergarac, and Minority Report. It’s hard to recall them all. Also, I forgot to mention one of my favorite films to you earlier, “Fight Club,” watch Tyler Durden. A great example of a guy with a reality that is centered on himself. That is important in some ways. If you have a reality which says “I don’t care what others think”, then there is no shitting yourself in doing an approach. If you are the center of your world and don’t care about what others think of you, then you don’t give a shit if you get your result. You just learn to keep going and refine your approaches with every approach you do.

Xeno: Do you ever think ASF will get exposed to the public as in society where it is shown on TV and the effectiveness of this material wouldn’t be the same as it is now?
SteviePUA: It is a possibility, yes. I got contacted by a media guy a few months ago asking me to speak at a film premiere in London. I wasn’t ready for such a public event so I didn’t get involved. That shocked me a little. I didn’t think movie directors read mASF. If there are film premiers, there are press members. And I didn’t want to go public. I value my privacy. That incident is the reason my photos were taken down on my site. So yes, I wonder/worry a small amount about ASF going public.

Xeno: So he knew about ASF in particular?
SteviePUA: Yes. Surely he read my posts as he knew enough about me to value me enough to invite me to a film premiere as a guest speaker. But I wonder how many people really use the material on ASF. I think a lot of people read the material and post but don’t always use it in real life. But if word got out, I’d be concerned. Imagine seeing your mug on Oprah Winfrey one night- “Watch out for these guys! Look at this Stevie guy….always opens with a neutral opener so you don’t feel threatened.” What a bastard he must be.

Xeno: How do you see the mASF community in 5-10 years?
SteviePUA: I really don’t know. I am sure there will be some new good material to incorporate. But I don’t know if the site is as good as it was 3 years ago. I hope I am wrong and that is not a trend. I mean the site looks good, but the posts are maybe not as good. Lots of the best posters have left or retired or (GULP) settled down!!

Xeno: Would it be a good idea to introduce this stuff to new guys? It’s better if seduction is not as known where only 1% of the whole population knows it. Isn’t it better to keep it to yourself so there is less competition and less AFC’s?
SteviePUA: Well that is one way to look at it. You can look at it that way, but then again, if you close it off too much, you stop new blood and potentially new ideas getting out there and you benefiting from them. I think the people who are actually serious about the game will get to the good stuff through their contacts in the game. People who are serious will do what it takes to meet up in real life and meet guys, sarge with them, chat with them, and that way you get to learn lots of insider material that people have.

Xeno: What kind of advice would you give to an AFC who is starting in the seduction community?
SteviePUA: Have a balance between real world and online. Don’t sit at the PC reading all the time. Read for some of the time and go out and try it for real. Don’t be a keyboard jock. You could even record your sarges and get feedback. The real world is where it is all happening. Read and apply it. Of course you will mess up. Just accept that as inevitable and as a sign that you are taking the right course of action.

Xeno: Do you ever plan to get married in your whole entire lifetime?
SteviePUA: Maybe when I am older. Somewhere near 35-40 years old…maybe not. At the moment, I have no plans. I am having fun being single. I was in a relationship with a Swedish chick for over 4 years so I have been there and done that. Maybe in the future but not now. I don’t really see the need to marry right now.

Xeno: What keeps you motivated to be a PUA? Many guys quit PUAdom altogether and never return. What would you recommend to other guys who feel down and don’t want to sarge any more?
SteviePUA: I know guys who get caught up in the online game. They see other PUA’s making progress and when they don’t make the same progress, they get defeated. Look, progress comes in any area if you have the balls to stick with it and you have the same basic abilities that everyone has. A basic belief in NLP is that if one guy can perform in a certain way, then so can you(within reason). I see super HBs sometimes with guys who are plain WEIRD looking and I know these guys have something beyond their looks. And what do they have? They have personality, game, and charisma. And that does not depend on looks, although good looks are definitely an asset of course. I get motivated by my psychological desire to improve and learn, my sex drive to bang HB’s, my desire to help others, and my ego(sorry but it’s true) of recognition for achieving good results with chicks(if only my dad had given me good feedback in my teen years, then there might have been fewer chicks who had fun with me).

Xeno: Thanks for you time. You have any last comments or messages to the mASF community and the real world?
SteviePUA: Just that I am happy to contribute and to continue learning with people who are serious and dedicated about the game and who are cool to hang with.

*Note from the author, Xeno: Stevie was a cool guy to hang out with. He has a fountain of knowledge on rapport skills and he has a whole broad landscape of his attraction game. He has a lot of tools and utensils to make his game successful. His style is pretty cool and I wouldn’t mind hanging with him when we crossed paths.

*This written material may not be copied, redistributed, duplicated, reproduced, or manipulated in any form. All written material here adheres belongs to Xeno.*